Scornful Poems About Donald Trump I

Donald Trump deservers our scorn. He is very objectively not making American great, and the subjective “again” from his slogan is pretty conspicuously racist. So here are some scornful poems regarding Trump’s awful electoral college victory that ignored the very clear will of America’s voters.


Donald Trump’s biggest offense and crime

is simply that he is gaudy.

*     *     *

Les Déplorablés

The world is wildly racist

and I can only sway so many people

with so little time in the day.

*     *     *

The fact that Donald Trump has paid attention to SNL every week

and tweeted about it with conspicuously upset feelings

but doesn’t read presidential briefings is _________ .


People like Donald Trump who cannot take a joke

and do not alter the behavior

that earns such satirizations are _________  __________ .

                                                               (adverb)   (noun, pl.)

Donald Trump’s fake hair looks like a __________  __________ .

                                                                       (adjective)  (noun, pl.)

*     *     *

The Trumpet Man is a great business man—

he turned his lower-middle-upper class inheritance

into a term as potus

with only a terrible personality.

*     *     *

It Isn’t Liberals

The people who hate me most in life

hate me principally because I’m liberal

and I care about making the world better

and that I think it’s reasonable to tell a billionaire

fuck you you’re not hoarding any more wealth or work-value

part of it is my literary vocabulary

with which I frequently if not persuasively articulate the worthiness

of a rigorously public government

and another part is that I have an epic wife

which offends these usual patriarchic suspects most.

It bothers conservatives that I am liberal

and that I don’t fear other people

nor do I expect the worst from them,

and my friends are internationally displaced and post-college,

and I even know—gasp—millennial muslims who aren’t fundamentalists

which really messes with the nativism clingers’ circuitry:

all my friends deserve to live in America

they’re cool with ambition and passion and youth—

why would America turn its nose at their inevitable existential contributions?

that kind of attitude is how other countries stop caring about English

and stop basing the world economy upon the US Dollar—

which would be bad for (the) us!

It also bothers conservatives that I’m generous with my house

for parties with these global friends that go late into the night

stimulating our borderless consciousnesses

and inalienable faith that humanism is the best ism.

Conservatives are uncomfortable at them and us uncomfortable with them among us.

Conservatives can smell the liberal on me

and I don’t make sense to them

or correlate accordingly with their echo chamber idea of a “libtard”

and it kills them because I am chill af—

they just don’t get how I could possibly be happy sharing what I have

or risking an occasional getting-walked-over while practicing existential hospitality—

too many of their sentences

begin with the phrase “as a taxpayer…”.

kindness and courageous captain optimism, I promise, are contagious

and before long rigorously public, democratic, and multicultural government

will return.

Democrats have somehow been told by the punditry since the election

that they need to learn from and understand trump voters

but that makes no critical sense.

the consciousness of liberal politics in america

is urban, multicultural, diverse, and tolerant

while the consciousness of american conservatism

is rural, monocultural, white, and intolerant.

Which side of the duality needs to learn more about the other?

…It’s not liberals.

*     *     *

The storm of election has calmed

and taken its wrathful energy to some other dimension—

the citizenry blinks in the aftermath:

it’s time for a new governmental scramble—

uh oh, the West is doing the dictatorship thing again!

We Americans are gullible and have been led to believe

we can become millionaires

if we just let the billionaires try to become trillionaires.

We have impulsively and ironically invited into life

our own misguided fears of tyranny via the public government

by voting for tyranny via oligarchy and private government—

and our Trumpian privateers will certainly fleece the government

and launder our taxes

just like the total republican-controlled governments previous:

the 20’s and the ‘aughts!

The trumpet man is a siren of fraud

a snake oil man who got famous spreading fake rumors about himself

and whose only intellectual talent is

mesmerizingly paying big stupid narcissistic gambling debts

with bigger stupider more narcissistic gambles,

and for a hidden reason our virtuous sun has allowed his wings to rise this high

ascending toward too-big-to-fail sociopathy

truly like a train with no brakes—

perhaps so he can fall from a greater height.

the only satisfaction or hope with which to endure

this four year civic and psychological trauma

is that if the Trumpet Man does as much damage to America’s soul

as I fear he is capable of

the newtonian slap on the ass will be an organized socialism

founded on Trump’s smallness as a little dictator.

*     *     *

Hey, Electoral College Electors

Presidents precedentedly

and constitutionally

should not be:

ends-justify-the-means kind of people




mentally and experientially unprepared

and literally disinterested…

Like, right?

*     *     *


this is embarrassing.

Democracy is dying on our watch…

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