Donald Trump Jr., Craving Individuality, To Change Name To ‘Emilio Thunder’

New York, NY—

In a show of his individuality, Donald Trump Jr., son of President Donald Trump, has filed paperwork to legally change his name to Emilio Thunder.

Friends close to Trump Jr. have explained that he doesn’t want to walk in his father’s shadow forever, and that now is a good time to start being his own man—particularly because of the added attention his father’s presidency has brought to the Donald Trump name.

The name is a surprising choice given his father’s controversial statements on the hispanic population in the United States, but that, Trump Jr. says, is part of the reason the name appeals to him.

“The Left is going to make a big deal about this like they always do I’m sure,” said Donald Trump Jr. this morning in a radio interview with Tom Wilkinson of Wake Up Manhattan. “But I think it shows once and for all that the Trump family is not in anyway racist. My father clearly cannot be racist if his own son is hispanic.”

Wilkinson pushed back on the comment, asking if Trump Jr. realized that simply changing his name did not change his ethnicity, to which Trump Jr. accused Wilkinson of “gotcha journalism.”

“This is just proof that it’s the Left who are intolerant,” Trump said. “They’re always calling conservatives racist, and sexist, and homophobic, etc., but the moment I convert to being hispanic they just get outright hysterical. I mean, which side is intolerant now? And why isn’t the ACLU backing me up here?”

The American Civil Liberties Union had not released an official statement at time of publishing, but The Halfway Post reached out to ACLU President Susan Herman who offered the following brief statement: “This is just wrong on so many levels.”

Trump Jr.’s chosen surname, while less controversial, is still an interesting choice for many.

“Why not ‘Thunder?’” asked Trump Jr. “It’s fucking awesome. ‘Emilio Thunder,’ on a titular level, demands respect. I was thinking of choosing a hispanic name, you know, to go full Mexican, but I think ‘Thunder’ just really matches my personality.”

Trump Jr. expects the name change to be finalized before the end of the week.

 

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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