Comey Memo Bombshell: Trump begged “Dude, Just Be Cool” At Least Ten Times

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The latest bombshell allegation to leak from former FBI Director James Comey’s internal memos documenting his meetings with President Trump suggest that Trump begged Comey to “just be cool” about the investigation into former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn’s conflicts of interest.

According to the memos, Comey was confident Trump had implored him to be cool at least ten times, though probably not more than fifteen. Other terms of endearment beyond “dude” included “man,” “bud,” and, once, “cuz.”

A friend of Comey, speaking anonymously to The Halfway Post, confirmed that Comey felt uncomfortable due to the president’s repeated requests.

“Comey is a straight arrow kind of guy,” the friend said. “He’s not going to neglect his bureau responsibilities as well as his duty to his country just because the president wants to protect his disgraced former adviser.”

This development comes at a time of increased speculation that Trump might himself be personally guilty of some level of Russian collusion. Trump’s lawyers this week have booked several appearances on political talk shows from several news networks to defend the president over what they claim is “fake news.” Meanwhile, Democratic lawmakers have pushed back against the assertion that there is nothing to see regarding the Trump campaign’s dealings with Russian officials.

“It certainly looks suspicious, and these new memos don’t help the president’s case,” said Senator Wendell Thomas, the junior Democratic senator form Connecticut. “It’s never a good sign when the president’s television advocates are his lawyers.”

A spokesperson for President Trump denied memo’s accuracy, though did not go so far as to claim that Comey was lying about Trump’s insistence.

“The president is a very loyal person to his staff, and doesn’t want the witch hunt pursuing him to ruin the careers of those around him,” claimed the spokesperson.

*Update, 3:19am*

President Trump took to Twitter early this morning to address the latest allegations:

“I hate to say it, but Comey is a loser. Fired, now has nothing better to do than attack me. He used to be cool, but totally lame now. Sad!”

The Halfway Post has obtained no responses from Comey associates as of the time of publishing, though we will update this story accordingly when everyone else in America wakes up.

*This story is developing*

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