Even Kellyanne Conway Is Not Exactly Sure What Her Job Is


In a brief phone interview with The Halfway Post, President Donald Trump’s senior advisor Kellyanne Conway was at a loss for words after our staff reporter’s first question.

The question, “What exactly is your job at the White House?” seemed simple to our staff, but it is a testament to the untraditional and unconventional approach Mr. Trump has taken to governance that it was a question Mrs. Conway was unprepared to answer.

“Um, well,” she said. “It’s kind of a complicated arrangement, one that, um, well you see—it’s not that I don’t do a lot, it’s just that…what I’m trying to say is that Mr. Trump trusts me to, um—my primary task during the day is that I’m the person responsible for—well, I guess my role at the White House is more of a guru type of deal, and people rely on me to—like, I’m a high profile representative for the White House, and even though I’m not included in most of the meetings or involved in the daily decisions, it’s my job to kind of be on cable news shows and explain those decisions. But, I’m totally not out of the circle or anything, it’s just that the White House moves at such a fast pace that I often can’t keep up with what their strategies are—but there are totally, definitely strategies at play, even if it sometimes seems to the public like there isn’t any plan with what the President says and does… and I think our strategies are validated by the fact that we’re constantly changing them and updating them because we take them so seriously and—erm—what I do is that I am like a Trump interpreter, and I can kind of understand what the president is trying to say even when he doesn’t know, or accidentally says things that at first sound inarticulate, or unconstitutional, or brazenly vengeful, but—uh, actually, I have to go—”

We’re not exactly sure if any of those sentence fragments accurately describe her White House role, so we’ve simply published the entire ramble so that readers can try and interpret it for themselves.

Readers best guesses are as good as ours in this case.

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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