Paul Ryan Cancels Health Insurance To Prove It’s Not So Bad, Goes To ER For “Heart Flutters” An Hour Later

Washington D.C.—

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is no stranger to criticism, but his recent efforts to repeal Obamacare and replace it with a healthcare law that will kick an estimated 23 million Americans off their healthcare plans have invited criticism from virtually every single person in the country who is not a Republican member of Congress.

Trying to boost Republican morale for the bill, Ryan and his staff came up with the public relations stunt to start going without health insurance himself to prove that going without health insurance isn’t so bad.

At 11am this morning, Ryan’s Facebook page went live, showing him cancel his insurance plan online. Mr. Ryan then took time to answer a handful of questions regarding the Senate’s new Obamacare repeal bill and respond to scrutiny that it might not pass in the Senate, let alone in the House afterwards.

Approximately one hour later, Mr. Ryan abruptly ended a House leadership meeting, and an ambulance was reportedly parked outside. Reporters on the steps of the Capitol Building recorded Mr. Ryan getting into the ambulance before the ambulance left the area with sirens blaring.

A spokesperson for Ryan commented that the incident was nothing to be alarmed about.

“I can assure you that Speaker Ryan is perfectly healthy, and that he just went to the hospital for a checkup after feeling a few heart flutters, that’s all,” said the spokesperson. “It’s nothing to worry about. Speaker Ryan was just having a bout of anxiety and felt his left arm go a little numb, and then merely sweat through his clothes and two other changes of clothes, but he expects to be back to the Capitol Building tomorrow after a brief overnight stay. Meanwhile, Republican leadership is confident that the Senate will find the votes needed to pass the repeal bill and finally free Americans from the slavery chains that is affordable healthcare.”

The karmic timing of the hospital stay has amused the political punditry, since only an hour before Ryan canceled his health insurance. Estimates of the cost of Ryan’s uninsured ambulance ride, physician checkup, heart monitoring tests, and overnight hospital stay have gone viral on Twitter.

“I hope the hospital bill Speaker Ryan receives gives him a change of heart regarding his healthcare policies,” said Nancy Pelosi, Democratic minority party leader in the House. “Maybe Speaker Ryan will finally understand the financial burden not having health insurance is for millions of Americans.”

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

Leave a Reply