Intelligent Design Creationist Can’t Explain Jellyfish, Children’s Cancer, Or Sunburns

A debate between a prominent advocate for intelligent design and an actual scientist ended prematurely when the scientist asked the creationist to explain, in a succession of offerings, the oceanic infestation of human-killing jellyfish, the tragedy of toddlers developing cancer, and the pitiful resistance of white people’s skin against the sun.

After several fragmented sentences and quickly abandoned feints of arguments, the creationist pulled the God-works-in-mysterious-ways card.

The audience recognized the cop-out and promptly booed the creationist, who then suggested the entire audience should start planning to burn in Hell for eternity sooner rather than later.

The creationist then asked the real scientist that if evolution was real, why weren’t there new species in your jar of peanut butter when you opened it up?

There was a long silence, and even the debate’s moderator was at a loss for words. Somewhere in the audience someone coughed.

“I don’t know where to even begin to correct your mistaken ideas of what the theory of evolution is about, or how it works,” said the scientist, “But allow me to get on your level of simplistic arguments.”

The real scientist then pointed to the ground downstage near the audience, and said that if creationism is real, God should suddenly create a new species right in front of everyone to, once and for all, prove evolution is a hoax.

For 45 minutes the auditorium silently watched the spot on the ground the scientist pointed to, but nothing happened.

Finally, the moderator called an end to the debate, and everyone went home.

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