George Bishop, a former FBI colleague and friend to Special Counsel Robert Mueller, has told The Halfway Post that Mueller was hoping the investigation into alleged collusion between Donald Trump’s presidential campaign staff and the Russian government would be a more complicated puzzle than it has turned out to be.
“Rob’s the smartest guy I know, and he just absolutely loves legal puzzles,” said Bishop. “When Congress asked Mueller to head the special investigation, Rob was ecstatic because he was a little bored since he had retired from the FBI. But, unfortunately, the Trump family has such obvious ties to the Russian government, various mafia figures, and other corrupt business leaders that it’s less of a puzzle for Rob than it is a single-digit addition problem.”
The latest Trumpian scandal concerning Donald Trump Jr.’s apparent admittance of overt Russian collusion has spoiled the fun for Mr. Mueller even further.
“When Rob read in the news that Donald Jr. basically gave up the whole game with several wildly misadvised statements, it was like the wind abandoned Rob’s sails,” said Bishop. “Even though the crime was conspicuous, Rob was at least enjoying himself figuring out how to prove it. He was even handicapping himself by refusing to utilize the FBI’s top-secret surveillance programs in order to make the investigation a little more difficult figuring out how to send the Trump family to prison with just public domain information. But Don Jr. just ruined even that challenge.”
It’s unclear what evidence of collusion will develop next post Donald Jr.’s apparent self-incrimination, but an anonymous White House aide has tipped The Halfway Post off that the staff has been totally discouraged and demoralized by the latest scandal.
“The White House is a mess, and everyone’s worst fears—that the Trumps literally did win the election because of Russian collusion—look like reality,” said the aide. “This afternoon, [Press Secretary] Sean Spicer was seen pacing the hallways outside his office for an hour saying ‘I just can’t, I can’t even’ over and over to himself.”
Meanwhile, Special Counsel Mueller has reportedly committed himself begrudgingly to see the investigation through to the end, even though it’s not fun anymore.
(Photo courtesy of Medill DC.)