Murkowski And Collins’ Healthcare Votes Remind Conservatives Why They Loathe Congresswomen

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Washington D.C.—

The Senate’s Republican “skinny repeal” bill to cancel Obamacare failed on Friday morning, and the no-votes by women senators Lisa Murksowski of Alaska and Susan Collins of Maine reminded conservatives why they think politics should be left to men.

“This country has been going downhill since the 19th Amendment let women vote,” said Senator Albert Shrinkman (R—GA). “They have to vote based on their feelings [emphasis his] and emotions, and focus on kids with cancer rather than vote with their brains. Case in point, women politicians are too weak-willed to do the hard, dirty work of kicking tens of millions of people off their healthcare.”

Other Republican senators were more overtly sexist.

“Why couldn’t one of them just got their periods and missed the vote?” asked Senator Tom Holtz (R—MS). “Or broken a nail? Women will just never understand complicated issues like healthcare or economics because they’re so busy empathizing with the poor and trying to give everyone a chance. If the Senate ever had 51 women senators to accurately reflect the slight majority of women in America at large, I bet you $1,000 they’d turn America communist in a week. Women in government are like women in business: they don’t deserve equal consideration as men.”

Most incensed, however, was President Donald Trump, who took to Twitter to savagely assault the decency of American politics by verbally attacking both Murkowski and Collins, before pledging to raise millions of dollars for their primary opponents.

“Murkowski really let down the Great State of Alaska, practically ruined our beautiful repeal bill with blood flowing out of her wherever,” Trump tweeted earlier this morning.

“I tried talking Susan Collins into supporting the amazing repeal bill, but couldn’t because so much blood was flowing out of her wherever,” Trump tweeted ten minutes later.

Yikes.

(Photo courtesy of Andrew Malone.)

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