Reince Priebus Said He’s Totally Over Donald Trump Ten Times In One Hour

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Washington D.C.—

The breakup between President Donald Trump and chief-of-staff Reince Priebus has not gone well, and it appears that the relationship was very one-sided.

While Mr. Trump has been seen in Washington D.C. with his new fling, communications director Anthony Scaramucci, Reince Priebus has been staying in, eating buckets of ice cream and watching old videotapes of Donald Trump’s campaign speeches.

Friends of Priebus have expressed to The Halfway Post that they are worried about him, and wish that he would start going out again to meet someone new to work for.

“Reince has been taking this very hard,” said a Wisconsin friend who requested anonymity. “Reince got fired and the very next day Scaramucci is moving in. Talk about swooping in. Who knows how long this has been going on behind Reince’s back. I mean, the guy chose Trump over his 9-month pregnant wife. I don’t even know why Donald thinks a guy who cheated with him is going to ultimately be faithful to him.”

“I had lunch with Reince a few days ago, and he just would not stop talking about Donald no matter how hard I tried to change the subject,” said a Washington D.C. friend. “He said ‘I’m so over Donald’ no less than ten times in our hour-long conversation. By the end he broke down into tears—because he had gotten a little drunk—and told me the thing he missed most was the fly-swatting. It was a small favor, Reince said, but he thought it proved to Donald that he cared.”

“This Anthony guy is a real douche,” said a White House communications staffer who requested anonymity to discuss his new boss. “He’s a total rat, and he’s the most two-faced person I’ve ever met. I honestly can’t tell what Donald sees in him that he dumped Reince for. Reince might be a little boring at times, he might be a little lame, but he’s dependable. And that’s what you really need at the end of the day.”

[This story is developing.]

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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