“All Lives Matter” Pedantics Remind Flooded Houston That “All Cities Matter”


Houston, TX—

The “All Lives Matter” crew are back to their pedantically inclusive language schemes, this time reminding Houston, Texas, that, even though it is flooded and needs immediate disaster relief, “All Cities Matter.”

A spokesperson for a local “All Lives Matter” activist group has announced the group’s efforts to block Congressional efforts for hurricane relief funds to help the victims of Hurricane Harvey’s destruction.

“Even though Texas needs immediate help and is the American city most in need of assistance, we are committing to our goal of obstructing any form of specific problem-solving,” said spokesperson Randy Mondell. “We demand that Congress spend hurricane relief funds not just on Houston, but spend it equally distributed to each and every city. Houston is being city-ist by only looking out for itself.”

The group was immediately panned across several social media platforms the moment their message was published on the group’s Facebook page.

“‘All Lives Matter’ has really missed the point again,” said virtually everyone who is not stupid.

[This story is developing.]

(Picture courtesy of the Department of Defense.)

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