“The Russian Gov’t Could Never Blackmail Me” Says Man Being Blackmailed By A Porn Star

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Washington D.C.—

Just a friendly reminder from your friends at The Halfway Post that the President of the United States is again insisting that the Russian collusion scandal is 100% fake, and that he could never be blackmailed by the full spy apparatus of the Russian government because he’s too smart, or something.

This is a statement Mr. Trump has repeatedly maintained on Twitter and in person, despite the irony of his current situation in which he is being brutally, effectively blackmailed by a mere porn star.

Stormy Daniels is capitalizing legally on the absence of Trump’s signature on their nondisclosure agreement, and on the murky questions surrounding how Trump lawyer Michael Cohen paid the hush money and where the money came from. Trump, through Cohen, is threatening legal action against Ms. Daniels, even as it is apparent that the last thing anyone allied with President Trump wants is for Mr. Trump to have to testify on the matter. It appears to be a game of chicken that Team Trump will not win.

Ultimately, Trump’s legal problems are mounting not because the Storm Daniels affair is a sex scandal—this scandal-ridden president has surpassed the point at which sex controversies matter at all to his constituents or polling—but because the paid hush money may constitute a financial federal election crime.

It is relevant to note here that the Russian government and all of its spy networks are much better at and capable of blackmailing US presidents than porn stars, so Trump’s insistence that Russia has nothing on him is probably nowhere near the truth, because that guy is a f***ed up machine of blackmail-able personal failings and perversions.

 

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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