“Trump Won’t Fire Mueller” Says Mitch McConnell, Who F***ing Stole A Supreme Court Seat


Washington D.C.—

Amid reports that President Donald Trump is looking for a legal strategy to fire Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein in order to put an end to Robert Mueller’s special investigation, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell looked to assuage fears of a Trumpian “Saturday Night Massacre” in the model of Richard Nixon’s firing of his independent special prosecutor.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” McConnell said when asked if he would support legislation to protect Mueller’s investigation.

This is just a reminder that Mr. McConnell is quite possibly the most cynically machiavellian political leader in US history, and that he recently claimed his career’s most consequential decision was blocking President Obama’s Supreme Court for an entire year so that the Republican Party could steal the Court’s 9th seat.

So the most sinisterly partisan senator—perhaps ever—who intentionally broke unambiguous Constitutional law to steal the Supreme Court’s ideological slant from America’s citizenry (who essentially voted in 2012 for Merrick Garland) is telling us not to worry about Trump doing something sinisterly partisan.


Following McConnell’s comment regarding his lack of worry over the Congressional security of Mueller’s investigation, he started chewing on a head of lettuce and then withdrew into his shell for a midday nap.


(Picture courtesy of DonkeyHotey.)

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