New York City, NY—
The Trump family has a checkered past with charitable fundraising, having had their family’s charitable foundations shut down by the State of New York for rampant self-dealing, and now President Trump and his three oldest children are all banned from serving on any New York charity board for ten years.
The ban has not stopped Eric Trump, however, from using his experiences to teach others in a webinar on how to profit personally from charitable fundraising.
“A lot of people don’t know this, but you can actually make a lot of profit from running a charity,” Eric explains in a Facebook advertisement for his webinar. “I can’t do it anymore because of the Deep State, but I can help you do it for just $19.99!”
The webinar consists of two fifteen-minute videos in which Eric offers pointers on committing fraud.
“It really helps if you have your own real estate,” he explains in the second video. “I was very fortunate because my dad owns a lot of properties around the country, which makes it very convenient because if you’re running a charity you can just host big events all the time at the properties you own, and then charge your charity a bunch of fees. Like, my cancer charity that I was running had a big annual dinner where I’d give myself an award for philanthropy every year, and we’d have a silent auction and do all kinds of fun things like that. But I would always have it happen at Mar-a-Lago, which my family owns. My dad would give me a commission for booking the charity events there, and that was just one of the many ways we figured out how to funnel those charitable donations we were collecting all year into our personal accounts. Because the government doesn’t just let you withdraw the money whenever you want, you know? New York especially gets really annoying about that. But the best part is that, since it was my charity, I could charge it whatever I wanted to stay at Mar-a-Lago. I would charge double the reservation fees, double the cost per plate for the dinner, and I’d even take the servers’ tips and the bartenders’ tips for a little extra cash. Always do cash when you can, that’s an insider’s tip from me to you. The best part about cash transactions is you don’t have to claim it on your taxes! The government doesn’t have to know, ya feel me? Man, I made so much money off my cancer charity that it shouldn’t have been legal! Well, technically it wasn’t, and now I can’t do it for ten years, but, boy, when this decade is up and I can go back to booking charity events at my family’s properties, I’m gonna make so much money again! I can’t wait!”
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