Trump Demands The Last Debate With Joe Biden Focus On Hillary’s Emails

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump published several tweets this morning with demands for the last debate with Joe Biden:

“I only canceled the second presidential debate because I didn’t want Sleepy Joe Biden to embarrass himself! I totally WANTED to do it, but I didn’t want people to see Joe in his basement littered with all his dirty old diapers, dozens of orange medication bottles, and AOC behind him pulling his arms and head with a system of ropes and pulleys and Bernie whispering into his ears!”

“But now that I’m immune to COVID I can’t wait for our 3rd debate! I have only one demand, and it’s that the topic be on Hillary Clinton’s emails! I know I said I’d unveil all her criminal emails and put her in prison four years ago, but now I’m finally ready to! So let’s #LockHerUp! #PromisesKept!”

“So as long as Joe Biden promises not to bring up COVID, our 210,000 deaths, the Russian bounties on our troops, sinking stock prices, North Korea’s new long-range nukes, Iran’s nukes, the trade war with China I said was so easy to win, my lack of an Obamacare replacement plan, my tax evasions, my rape lawsuits, or my sinking poll numbers, I agree to the 3rd debate!”

“All of those issues are just distractions from the real issue Americans care about: Hillary Clinton! So as long as this next debate is 100% centered on America’s #1 nasty woman, I will show up… unless there are any COVID tests, drug tests, or lie detector tests at the debate, in which case I will probably bail. #MAGA!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s