Eric Trump Wishes His Dad Talked About Him Half As Much As He Talks About Hunter Biden

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

New York City, NY—

According to friends of Eric Trump, the President’s son is getting jealous of how much his dad talks about Joe Biden’s son.

“Eric is very depressed about all this Hunter Biden business,” explained a close family friend, who requested anonymity to discuss Eric’s recent depression. “His dad talks more about Hunter every day than he talks about Eric in an entire month. And Eric is a very sensitive boy. He really craves his father’s love, but President Trump is infamously unloving after growing up with a pretty awful father himself. I hope Eric can break the cycle of abusive fatherhood that seems to run in the Trump family for the sake of his own kids. But Eric always tries to make a connection, you know? He has tried everything to win his dad’s affection, but nothing works. Just last week he printed out giant magazine covers his dad was featured on and framed them as gifts, but Donald screamed at him for choosing photos where his hands looked small and slapped Eric in the face. Eric got really depressed after that. Did you know it has been two months since the Republican National Convention, and Donald still hasn’t watched the speech Eric gave? Whenever his dad brings up the RNC, all he talks about is Ivanka’s speech or Tiffany. He says he’d still choose to date Ivanka if he wasn’t her father, but he’d think about a little Tiffany on the side… if he wasn’t her father of course.”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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