Trump Wanted To Do A Swimsuit Calendar Photoshoot With Ivanka As A Fundraiser

Washington D.C.—

The following are campaign fundraising ideas President Donald Trump reportedly suggested to his election team:

• A swimsuit calendar with Ivanka in a bikini, and himself in a speedo.
• A competition where he signs his signature on COVID-positive donors’ CT scans of lung damage in hospitals.
• Force Ted Cruz to allow people to kick him in the nuts for $1 million donations.
• A competition for donors to win a date night with Eric.
• Have a yacht-wash where he washes billionaires’ yachts in a Borat-style mankini.
• Have an auction to sell America’s foreign policies to foreign countries willing to donate through shell-companies into “unafilliated non-profit” pro-Trump superPACs so it’s 100% legal.
• Bring back Trump Steaks and sell them on the Trump2020 website.
• Beg Sheldon Adelson for more money, and if that doesn’t work, insult him.
• Force Matt Gaetz to start an Only Fans account and striptease for Trump campaign donations.
• Have Steve Bannon start more Build-The-Wall scams.
• Have the KKK do a national bake sale for him.
• Sell more American flag-themed clothing items made in China for cheap.
• Have Sean Hannity tell elderly Fox News viewers that Joe Biden wants to mandate their suburban subdivisions institute quotas to become 75% black.
• Sell Ivanka’s used underwear to MAGA incels.
• Sell Saudi Arabia a bunch of “Dismember-A-Journalist-Free” cards for $1 billion each.
• Kill US troops to collect from Russia the bounties Putin put on them.

From The Halfway Post vault:

https://atomic-temporary-129578498.wpcomstaging.com/2020/08/06/ivanka-trump-got-catfished-by-a-hacker-pretending-to-be-justin-trudeau/

https://atomic-temporary-129578498.wpcomstaging.com/2020/09/03/trump-i-like-my-steak-like-i-like-ivankadrizzled-with-ketchup/

https://atomic-temporary-129578498.wpcomstaging.com/2020/09/23/trump-wishes-he-had-named-ivanka-donaldina-as-his-eponymous-heir-instead-of-don-jr/

https://atomic-temporary-129578498.wpcomstaging.com/2020/08/28/melania-trump-reportedly-left-a-dozen-rats-inside-ivankas-white-house-office/

https://atomic-temporary-129578498.wpcomstaging.com/2020/08/30/to-get-revenge-on-ivanka-melania-has-been-sneaking-estrogen-in-jared-kushners-coffee-for-years/

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