- Kyle Rittenhouse’s mom driving him across state lines
- Donald Trump taking you furniture shopping
- A gun lover going anywhere near an elementary school
- A youth pastor hanging out with pre-teen girls
- Partying with Brett Kavanaugh in the 80s
- Hunting with Dick Cheney
- Matt Gaetz trying to Venmo you money for something
- A QAnon follower going to a pizza restaurant
- A MAGA fan being asked to put on a mask in a grocery store during a pandemic
- Going bowling with Lauren Boebert and her husband
- Going to the same theatrical production as Lauren Boebert
- Jim Jordan coaching you on a wrestling team
- Being pregnant and giving birth in a red state
- Believing Donald Trump when he says the election was rigged
- Going into a hotel room alone with Rudy Giuliani
- Interacting with a cop
- Being married to a cop
- Being married to Herschel Walker, or being his kid.
- Living in a rural area in a red state that turned down free federal Obamacare and Medicare money that would fund a hospital within 100 miles of where you live
- Serving as Donald Trump’s vice president and upholding the Constitution in a purely ceremonial role while counting electoral votes
- Watching Fox News for decades and living in constant fear of brown people and immigrants
- Living next door to Rand Paul
- Being in the same room with Donald Trump’s infamous stench
- Attending a GOP coke orgy
- Being Madison Cawthorn’s cousin
- Depending on Joel Osteen or any other televangelist opening up their mega churches during a hurricane or other natural disaster
- Standing between Donald Trump and a Big Mac
- Riding in a Tesla and hoping it won’t catch fire
- Taking medical advice from Fox News hosts
- Living through the surge of a easily transmissible disease in Florida
- Waiting for guidance or assistance from Ted Cruz during a snowstorm in Texas
- Being an endangered animal when Donald Trump Jr. is around
- Being a child with cancer and hoping Eric Trump will raise enough money to cure it
- Living in a state prone to natural disasters and depending afterwards on Congressional Republicans voting for federal relief funds
- Finding Stephen Miller in a dark alley at night 🥃
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