Published by McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
General Silliness
- The Internet’s 25 Dumbest Personal Essays
- Allen Ginsberg’s Howl, For Boomers
- A Casual Reminder That These Are The Lyrics To The Ramones’ “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue”
- The Most Self-Destructively Woke Classes Currently Taught In Colleges
- The Ghosts of Past Presidents Are Haunting The White House!
- Spinoffs Considered For Characters From TV’s “The Office”
- An Alien’s Advice For Humans’ Evolutionary Defects
- Highbrow Criticism Of Lowbrow Graffiti
- A Day In The Life Of Elon Musk
- Updated Corporate Slogans That Aren’t In Any Way Problematic
- Feel-Good Stories That Prove The World Is Becoming More Equal
- Man Wearing Three AR-15s Says He Feels Threatened By Biracial Couples
- McDonalds Fans Say Grimace Has Betrayed The Body Positivity Movement After Losing 250 Pounds
- A Chubby Man Just Told A Woman “If You Lost Like 10 lbs You’d Be Hotter”
- A Day In The Life Of A Woke, Satanic, Communist Democrat
- Guess The US President By His Slutty Pickup Line
Donald Trump
- One Of Trump’s Chefs At Mar-A-Lago Quit, Says He Can’t Unsee What He Saw
- Book Endings If They Were About Donald Trump
- Remember That Donald Trump Was Born In A Time Of Widespread Lead-Based Paint Use
- Things Donald Trump Doesn’t Know, And At This Point Is Afraid To Ask
- Donald Trump Is Suing His Grandchildren For Breaching Their Non-Disclosure Agreements
- A Newly Discovered STD Was Just Named After Donald Trump
- When Trump Complained About “Harassment,” Nancy Pelosi Asked Him What He Was Wearing When It Happened
- Free Insults For Trump’s Primary Opponents To Use
- The Enigma That Is Donald Trump’s Relationship With Ivanka
- HELP WANTED: Join Donald Trump’s Legal Team Today!
- Donald Trump Called Ivanka A “Hot Piece Of Meat” He’d “Love To Drizzle Ketchup On All Over”
- Nancy Pelosi’s Hatred Of Donald Trump Is An Aesthetic
- Trump’s Stupidest Excuses So Far For Stealing Nuclear Secrets
- Awful Things Trump Has Said About Our Other Presidents
- Questions Journalists Should Demand Trump Answer
The Republican Party
- Laws Women Would Write If They Were As Sexist As Men
- Marjorie Taylor Greene Has A Tinder Profile
- Josh Hawley’s New Book Talks A LOT About Masturbation
- God Says Ted Cruz Is The Biggest Asshole In The Universe
- Trump Voters Just Aren’t Assimilating Into American Culture
- Women Across The US Vow To Make Republicans Pay In 2024
- Stephen Miller Implied He Has Eaten Human Meat
- An Earthquake Just Wrecked Steve Bannon’s “White Sperm Doomsday Vault”
- MAGA Fans Are Annoyed When The Brown People They Yell At Turn Out To Be Citizens
- Can Republicans Write Good Books?
- Dr. Oz’s Top Excuses For Why He’s Never In Pennsylvania
- Republicans Are Clueless About Women’s Anatomy
- The GOP Wants Subsidized School Lunches To Get Spit On By Lunch Ladies
- Insane Texts Have Already Been Found On Alex Jones’s Phone
- New Emails From Alex Jones’s Phone Just Leaked!
- Conservatives Clearly Aren’t Praying Enough To Stop Mass Shootings
- Mike Lindell Claims Democrats Paid “Mole People” To Bury Trump Ballots
Christianity
- Noah Says He’s Sorry for Bringing Chlamydia on the Ark
- A Letter From The Frontline Of The War On Christmas
- I Was The Waiter At The Last Supper, And They Were An Awful Table
- How Pagan Is Christmas Really? It’s All Pagan
- The Bible’s Elisha Explains Why He Made 2 Bears Maul 42 Children
- A Homophobic Pastor Who Claimed Straight People Can’t Get COVID Just Got It For The Third Time
- Jesus Wants To Know Why “Christians” Aren’t Jewish
- Joel Osteen Says He Has Never Heard Of Camels And Needles
- God Says Donald Trump Was A Test, And Republicans Failed It
- Donald Trump Talked To Joel Osteen About How To Set Up A Televangelist Church
- God Admits Humans Aren’t In His Top 10 All-Time Favorite Creations
Follow me on Twitter, Threads, Spoutible, or Post.News to interrupt your daily doomscrolling with Dada news, and follow me on Medium to keep up with my daily writing studio.
Check out my poetry book Cabaret No Stare, available in print and on Kindle.
Also check out my book “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post,” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
And check out my comedy portfolio, my Dada news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 