“No greater proof exists than The Halfway Post that the 1st Amendment’s protections of free speech and creative liberty are far too lenient!”
Based out of St. Louis, The Halfway Post publishes America’s most halfway true satirical news. When it comes to the hypocrisy, hubris, and egomania of contemporary conservatism in America, I tell the quiet part out loud.
If a headline you find here seems too outlandish to be true, it’s probably because I made it up. They’re halfway true, and even sometimes more factual than reality despite being fiction. My satire is award-winning, having earned the most coveted rating in the satire world of “Pants On Fire!” by PolitiFact.
I’ve also teamed up with Adrian Polk to host the political podcast Brain Milk where we discuss the news, political strategy, and history.
Literary Praise for The Halfway Post
“The Halfway Post boldly says the quiet part of contemporary Republican politics out loud, cleverly using conservatives’ own disdain for political correctness as a cudgel against the GOP’s various bureaucratic excesses, mental redundancies, and ideological incongruities.”
“A masterfully accurate portrait of the Trump years, as well as the gamut of Donald Trump’s deranged vulgarities, ranging from his passion for alluding to incest to his fingers’ resemblance to chubby, little sausages.”
“The Halfway Post has more perspicacious, anonymous sources than any other news company in America, and gets right to the heart of the Trump Administration’s negligent soullessness. There is no better insight into the grotesque personal idiosyncrasies of the public figures orbiting the Trump White House.” —A perspicacious, anonymous source
“This book is chock-full with impregnable mockery of the conspicuous, self-conscious sexual impotency inherent in the fundamentalist repression of an impressive number of social realities in contemporary Red State America.”
“Dash MacIntyre is certainly going to Hell, and I look forward to meeting him there and having cocktails over polite, affably deliberate palaver.” —Jesus
“If anyone should be able to take a joke, it’s Me! Whereas many devout worshippers of Mine will be horrified at the collected heretical blasphemies throughout this book, I’m quite tickled!” —God
“Every print of this book should be burned for obscenity. I only wish there was a way to acquire all the copies without giving Dash MacIntyre any royalty money. I’d say ban the book nationally, except that banning books inevitably makes them more notable.”
“It’s unbelievable how many sources The Halfway Post has collected who will talk so candidly and intimately about the deepest workings of our government. Literally unbelievable.”
“Dash MacIntyre is almost certainly America’s premier satirist of white supremacist semen jokes.”
“This is the book President Trump does not want you to read! I would not be surprised if he sues the author for $5 billion in frivolously alleged damages to the Trump brand, only to drop the lawsuit when it eventually comes time for a depositional inquiry into the President’s personal records and finances for fact-gathering in service of dethroning the claims made in this assemblage.”
“The most true book you’ll ever read. Also, the most filled with lies.”
“I can’t wait until a bunch of radical SJWs addicted to the cheap high of mindless persecution outlaw a bunch of the words and phrases used in this anthology so the radical Left turns on Dash MacIntyre, as credentially liberal-minded as he is, and call him worse than Hitler as they roll out the guillotine and chop off his head!”
“These puckish headline fibs and farces of US politics in the MAGA Trump Era capture the spirit of a once peerless democracy buckling and threatening to collapse under the weight of an ethno-nationalist movement’s fondness for demagogic, cultural narcissism; unpatriotic conceptions of discriminatory citizenship; and militantly willful foolishness from proud ignoramuses exhilarated by professing undeservedly that all opinions are equal, and that any inconvenient expertise from esteemed authorities must be a hoax. Amusing, though occasionally unnecessarily distasteful.”
“Your book is a total piece of s***, you communist a**hole. Don’t walk across the street in front of my car. You will not like the results of the sudden brake failure and throttle-sticking issues my car will have.” —The Halfway Post’s #1 Fan
“Magnificent commentaries… Superb pieces that reconfigure our society’s distinctive cultural power dynamics, and offer a tour de force burlesque of the excesses in our modern populist aesthetics haunted electorally by competing generational angsts dominated by intersectional, Millennial cosmopolitanism on the Left and dominance-oriented, Baby Boomer nativism on the Right… Astute observations on the absurd politics of America in the late 2010s sprinkled with inescapably prudent judgments on late-stage capitalism’s egregiously corporatist futility exploiting the last halcyon vestiges of the mid-20th Century New Deal’s idealistic federalism, the evident manipulation of economic fragility into white supremacist rage, and their juxtaposition against a political rebellion of neo-marxist humanism rooted in a burgeoning digital revolution of deconstructive, neo-Jacobin identity politics… wait, which book am I reviewing again?”
“The Halfway Post employs such an erudite, sophisticated vocabulary for its saucy descriptions of objects that have allegedly been up Rudy Giuliani’s butthole.”
Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Twitter here, Facebook here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here and subscribe to our Substack newsletter The Halfway Café here.