Trump Suspiciously Just Mandated Federal Prisons Serve “Big Mac Mondays” And “Filet-O-Fish Fridays”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump today signed a curious executive order mandating all federal prisons serve McDonalds’ fast food for dinner at least twice a week.

Critics of the President speculated the executive order was self-interested, and displayed a clear awareness of the likelihood his criminal conduct both in and out of office would catch up to him post-presidency and land him in prison.

The executive order also mandated the following:

  • Fox News to be named the official television channel of federal prisons
  • Increased budgetary expenditures for men’s prisons to get as many makeup supplies as women’s prisons get…for gender equality
  • Walls built between white prisoners’ areas and Mexican prisoners’ areas
  • A full presidential pardon of Ivanka
  • One conjugal visit per week for former-president inmates, and a weekly stipend to pay for sex
  • The right for prisoners to trade exercise hours for hours on Twitter
  • The right to refuse having to share a prison cell with one’s sons

From The Halfway Post vault:

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