Free Questions For The Media That Donald Trump Deserves To Be Asked

Photo by Ritupon Baishya on Unsplash
  1. Do you think Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump owe you some of the $2 billion in Saudi funding they got? Think you should sue them?
  2. You’re the most notorious #MeToo villain in America, how does it feel to revolt so much of the American populace?
  3. Did your rape-defamation lawsuit with E. Jean Carroll will make it difficult to hire competent women in a second administration?
  4. If you had to guess, how many NDAs have you paid for?
  5. If you could go back in time knowing what you know now, would you still name Don Jr. after yourself?
  6. Are you ever concerned that, since 2015, Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Alex Jones, Elon Musk, and all the billionaires around you have been riding along on your coattails for their own gain promoting you to grow their own audience bases like you’re their useful idiot?
  7. If Ukrainian president Zelensky is a dictator, why aren’t you sucking up to him like you are to Vladimir Putin? Isn’t he displaying strength?
  8. Can you explain what you would do to end the war in Ukraine in one day like you claimed you could because you no longer get the benefit of the doubt that your vague and tall-tale promises of dealmaking genius have any basis in reality?
  9. Why do you think historians have ranked you at the bottom of their lists of best presidents higher only than the weak presidents directly preceding the Civil War?
  10. Why do you suppose your own chief of staff, John Kelly, called you “the most flawed person I have ever met in my life,” and your secretary of state Rex Tillerson called you a “moron” who often wanted to do illegal things? Could you also explain what you wanted to do that Tillerson thought was illegal and refused?
  11. You never really had an Obamacare replacement plan, did you?
  12. Do you regret not paying contractors who worked for you and then had to go out of business and their families suffered?
  13. If you were going to flee America, would you choose to move to Moscow, Riyadh or Pyongyang, and why?
  14. Has Ivanka ever asked you to stop saying creepy thing about her body in public? Has Jared Kushner? Has Melania? our other children?
  15. What awful thing did you do that made your parents give up on raising you, and decide to send you to a military academy?
  16. When you interviewed RFK Jr. for an administration job, did you see the worm peak out one of his ears?
  17. Will you take this high school civics exam right now on camera to prove you know how the government works?
  18. Why use a lame nickname like “Ron DeSanctimonious” when even blue-haired, Woke, Gen Z communists are disappointed and know you can be meaner than that?
  19. Why do you tell so many “Sir” stories when we all know that’s a poker tell of yours that the story is entirely made up?
  20. Why do you say “People are talking” so much when we all know that’s a poker tell of yours that you’re making something up?
  21. What was the biggest lie you ever got away with?
  22. You failed to make a legitimate peace deal with Kim Jong-un, but you made such a big deal and spectacle about going there to shake his hand, and bragged so much that you could make deals better than anyone, that you just can’t admit you were out of your depth, got played, and have since been oddly calling him your “lover” to distract from the reality that you accomplished nothing for America’s national security interests… didn’t you?
  23. Do you really think you’re fooling us with the hair and the makeup? Why do you not blend it into your hairline or your neck?
  24. Did your father ever call you a loser, and how did that make you feel?
  25. What compelled you to randomly call reporters in the 80s and make up wild lies and fictional exaggerations about famous celebrities asking you out on dates?
  26. Why should Americans believe you really won the 2020 election after polls consistently showed you behind Biden for the entire election, your approval ratings were among the worst in history for most of your presidency, a majority of Americans thought your COVID policies led to tens of thousands of preventable deaths, suburban white women were appalled by your cruel governmental policies and personal conduct, a plethora of Republican candidates outperformed you in ways that make it obvious Democrats didn’t cheat to make you lose but merely forgot to make their Senate and House candidates also win, and you and your family are just weird, sociopathic freaks who are bad at pretending you care about other people?
  27. When is Barron’s birthday?
  28. What are five things you like about Eric?
  29. When is Melania’s birthday, or your wedding anniversary?
  30. What is Tiffany’s job?
  31. Do you regret not being more present in your children’s lives?
  32. Many people who have worked with you, including a staffer of your show The Apprentice claim you wear diapers, and that filming was at times stalled when you had to go for a change. Would you like to prove those rumors wrong right now by pulling down your pants?
  33. What blackmail do you have on Lindsey Graham? Ignore every other question and just answer this one PLEASE! 🥃

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