President Donald Trump just launched a series of tweets reigniting a Truth Social feud he started with Paul McCartney back in 2018 after The Beatles singer called him a “mad captain.”
The following are Truths Trump posted insulting McCartney:
“The Beatles are the most overrated band in history! Their music isn’t catchy at all, and Paul McCartney is less talented than even Ringo! I always thought Ringo was the best songwriter in the group. ‘Hey Jude,’ ‘Yesterday,’ and ‘Let It Be’ are all tied for the worst songs ever written!”
“‘Eleanor Rigby’… more like ‘Eleanor KILL ME!’” The Beatles are trash except the one song that goes ‘She was just 17, you know what I mean?’ I totally know what they meant on that one!”
“‘Can’t Buy Me Love?’ Are you kidding me? I buy love all the time! And then I pay extra to keep the girls quiet! I thought Paul McCartney was rich… I guess not! Maybe that’s why he wrote the song ‘Penny Lane!’ If I had written it, I’d have called it ‘Hundred Dollar Lane!’”
“‘Taxman?’ Paul McCartney pays taxes?? What an idiot! He’s even dumber than I thought! ‘Fixing A Hole?’ I hope Paul didn’t pay that contractor after fixing his hole! Paul will never get rich like me paying his taxes and his contractors!”
“‘Paperback Writer?’ Not me! The Art of the Deal is a hardcover masterpiece! You make more money with hardcovers, everyone knows that! Except Paul McFARTney I guess! And only a loser writes a song like ‘Yesterday!’ I’m using my unpresidented IQ to Make America Great Again TODAY and TOMORROW!”
“‘Hey, Jude?’ Is that a song for Jews only? I think there are fine songs on BOTH sides! ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand?’ Talk about a real beta move! Not like me, who is a total ALPHA! Everyone knows I grab women full on by the pussy! And I don’t announce it ahead of time. They swat your hand away if you do that!”
“And ‘Back In The USSR’…. what kind of song name is that? Was Paul McCartney colluding with Russia? Hey, Democrats! Why are you looking into me and not him? Was Paul McCartney working with Russia and funded by the Clinton Foundation? Everyone’s asking!”
“And what’s the deal with his accent? Paul McCartney speaks like his mouth is full of marbles! Is he even a real American? Starting tomorrow I’m going to direct Kash Patel and the FBI to look into his birth certificate and see what’s really going on!”
“The worst Paul song of all is ‘Blackbird.’ I want to hear a song about law-abiding WHITEbirds! Blackbird just encourages all the ANTIFA thugs to burn down our beautiful American cities in the radical communist blue states. Hey, Paul, don’t get on any boats anytime soon because I’d hate for one of Pete Hegseth’s drones to mistake you for a drug trafficker!”
“And I have some obvious ideas on how to improve the theme and lyrics of ‘Golden Slumbers!’” 🥃
☕️ Help me keep writing daily. Become a paid subscriber for only $2.50/month so I can relentlessly mock Donald Trump and his administration’s fascist tendencies.
Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years, available on Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Kobo. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 
One thought