Join my comedic rebellion against Trumpism — subscribe to support my satire for just $2.50 a month. Never stop laughing at the fascists.
- Hillary Clinton reportedly thinks it’s hilarious that the thing that will finally bring down Trump is emails.
- The Oval Office is so hideously crammed with gold accents that Donald Trump is now making JD Vance and Marco Rubio wear gold colored foundation makeup when they come inside for meetings.
- Stephen Miller has started keeping his emotional support cockroaches in his suit pockets during the day.
- Trump says if the Supreme Court makes him pay back all the tariffs, he’ll have to defund ICE and cancel his ballroom.
- RFK Jr. has reportedly convinced Donald Trump to stop taking his congestive heart failure medicine and instead use healing crystals that realign the body’s mitochondria.
- GOP officials in red states are privately warning that the budget about to pass will soon result in their states having third-world standards of living with no healthcare subsidies, closed hospitals, rescinded renewable energy grants, and no more disaster relief.
- Trump’s doctors say that, if Congress publicly releases the Epstein files, the stress could give him a debilitating stroke.
- A new poll found that 89% of Americans think Trump’s Oval Office is tacky and ugly.
- Top Chinese officials reportedly burst out laughing for 26 seconds on live TV when they heard the reports that the US Supreme Court appears likely to rule that Trump’s tariffs are unConstitutional.
- Teens reportedly keep using chalk to write “BEWARE THE MAR-A-LAGO MOLESTER!” all around the pool at Trump’s resort when he’s not there and security is much more relaxed.
- A televangelist in Oklahoma is defending Donald Trump’s likely inclusion in the Epstein Files by pointing out “there’s plenty of rape, incest, and pedophilia in the Bible.”
- Former al-Qaeda members in the Syrian government are criticizing President Ahmad al-Sharaa for meeting with a known pedophile in the US government yesterday.
- Trump is reportedly asking his advisers if they think today is a bad day to finalize his pardon of Ghislaine Maxwell.
- Former al-Qaeda members in the Syrian government are criticizing President Ahmad al-Sharaa for meeting with a known pedophile in the US government yesterday.
- Fox News executives have reportedly called a “Code Red,” which means the network will immediately launch their “War on Christmas” content to distract from the Trump-Epstein bombshells.
- Trump reportedly caught JD Vance taking measurements in the Oval Office this morning after the new Epstein emails were released.
- White House lawyers are reportedly worried Lauren Boebert and Nancy Mace recorded their phone calls with Trump where he begged, bribed, threatened, and cried for them to reverse their votes on releasing the Epstein files.
- Following Lauren Boebert’s refusal to take her name off the Epstein Files discharge petition, White House staffers reportedly hid all ketchup bottles and will be serving Trump his dinner on paper plates tonight.
- White House staffers say Donald Trump is giving off real “Jim Jones vibes” today.
- Doctors say Trump’s swelling cankles will soon make him unable to play golf.
- A very Republican town in Idaho is having a “MAGA bonfire” to burn all their MAGA merch after their only hospital closed due to Republicans’ healthcare cuts.
- Vladimir Putin says he never would have colluded with Trump if he knew Trump was a sex-trafficking rapist. 🥃
☕️ If you enjoy my comedy and political commentary, consider becoming a paid subscriber. I charge only $2.50 a month, and thanks to my paid subscribers it’s becoming more and more possible for my dream of this becoming my day job to come true!
Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 
One thought