Trump’s Stench Reportedly Made Japanese Diplomats Barf

• Trump reportedly smelled so bad while visiting Japan he made Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi throw up during a reception dinner.
• There’s a growing new trend where people host “2016 themed parties” and pretend that Obama is still president, the government is mostly functional still, and everyone still agrees fascism is bad.
• Women associated with the secretive feminist mafia called “The Cliterati” are reportedly going on dates with as many ICE agents as they can to take photos of them without masks, dox them, and reveal embarrassing things about them publicly.
• Trump has reportedly been talking a lot recently at the White House how blood pressure is rigged against him.
• ICE agents are complaining that women are “deporting them from the dating pool” by outing them publicly when they finally admit they work for ICE on the 3rd or 4th date.
• Dozens of liberals are getting hired by ICE for both the signup bonus and to intentionally do lazy, incompetent work to slow down and obstruct the agency’s draconian police state efforts.
• The news of Trump’s recent MRI has renewed rumors that he has only months to live.
• ICE is reportedly sharing internal memos telling agents to stay single because of how often agents’ girlfriends are doxxing everyone they can.
• Trump reportedly keeps firing doctors who tell him it’s time to retire, and calls the results of their MRI scans, cognitive tests, and dementia exams “fake news.”
• Mike Johnson is reportedly starting to feel like Donald Trump is ruining his legacy as Speaker of the House by forcing him to keep Congress closed until Trump can threaten enough Republicans to back out of voting for releasing the Epstein Files.
• After seeing how much bigger Xi Jinping’s ballroom in Beijing is, Donald Trump is reportedly telling his staffers that he may have to bulldoze “a little more of the White House.”
• South Korean government officials are reportedly talking about how letting Trump be president when he was so visibly demented and lost throughout his Asian tour is “elder abuse.”
• The mayor of a town in Kentucky with the nation’s highest rates of school dropouts, incest, and infant mortality is inviting all the millionaires who will move from NYC if Mandani wins.
• Trump is reportedly resisting his doctors’ advice that he install a stairlift for getting on and off Air Force One. 🥃

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