[99% of my comedy is at the expense of Trump and conservatives, please allow me this one article mocking some of the ideological excesses of liberals a little]
Enroll today at the university with the lowest admissions acceptance rate, and a 0% graduation rate because no one can possible meet our standards of moral absolutism!
Here’s just a sampling of the many classes offered:
- Topics In Biology: Why Multicellular Life Is Problematic
- Psychology For Millennials: How To Self-Diagnose Your Way Out Of Any Commitment, Responsibility, Or Societal Expectation Of Minimum Social Interaction
- The History Of The Israel-Palestine Crisis (has a pass-or-“bigot” grading scale, in which no one passes)
- Righting The Wrongs Of History: Canceling Historical Figures Who Have Been Dead For Centuries
- The History Of Kimonos (Japanese Students Only To Avoid Cultural Appropriation)
- Topics In Sociology: How White Newborn Babies Contribute To Systemic Racism
- Topics In Nutrition: The Toxic Masculinity Inherent In Dietary Protein
- Linguistics 201: Advanced Microaggression Detection In Everyday Punctuation
- Ethics In Acting: Why You Are Not Allowed To Act As Any Person Other Than Yourself
- Archaeology And Gender: How To Avoid Assumptions On The Gender Identity Of Various Million-Year-Old Hominid Fossils
- Master Class On Gender Studies: The Systemic Sexism Behind Why Women Now Earn More College Degrees Than Men, And How To Smash The Matriarchy
- Topics In Zoology: Wild Animal Photography Is Voyeuristic And Pornographic And Must Be Stopped
- Transgenderism In Pornography (has a “pass-or-TERF” grading scale depending on the student’s level of arousal)
- Nutrition Studies: Why Every Food You Enjoy Is Actually Promoting Colonization And Neo-Imperialism.
- Topics In Physics: Gravity And Its Fatphobic Agenda Against The Obese
- Veterinary Ethic 210: Deconstructing Speciesism And Breedism In Pet Ownership
- Topics In Literature: Censoring 19th Century Novels For Not Having 21st Century Social And Cultural Norms
- Topics In Dating: Why You’re A Power Balance Villain Unless You’re Dating Someone Born On The Exact Same Day As You
- Pansexuality: A Consensual “Hands-On” Practicum
- Topics In Psychology: Why Monogamy Is Structurally Bigoted
- Who’s The Biggest Societal Victim? An Anthropological Survey Of Trends In Minority Demographic Hierarchies
- Topics In Music Theory: The Major Scale Is So Suspiciously Cheerful It Must Be Part Of The White Supremacist Patriarchy
- Oppression In Baking: The Ethics Of Making Bread Without Yeast’s Consent
- Topics In Business: How Cafés Can Minimize The Intrinsic Colorism In Contemporary Latte Art
- Purifying Social Media: How To Block Everyone Who Disagrees With You So You Never Have To Interact With An Opposing View
- Topics In American History: Why Descendants Of White Immigrants From The Third Wave Of US Immigration Between The Years Of 1880–1914 Are Still Personally To Blame For Slavery
- Topics In The History Of Science: Why You Must Stop Using Deodorant, Computers, Cars, Modern Medicine, And Air Conditioning Because Their Inventors Were Problematic
- Speech & Debate: How To Blame All Your Personal Failures And Regrets On Late-Stage Capitalism
- Practicum On Why Your Film Projects Should Have At Least 30 Minutes of Trigger Warnings And Land Acknowledgements For Every Scene In Your Movie
- Environmental Studies 401: Eco-Anxiety As A Personality
- Topics In Environmental Studies: Zero-Waste Tears And How To Cry Without Perpetrating Hydrological Injustice
- Sociology Senior Thesis: Discovering A New Form Of Oppression No One Else Has Ever Thought About Before That Makes Everyone Roll Their Eyes When They Hear It
- Political Science Final Project: Come Up With A New Word To Insist Hispanic People Start Calling Themselves Despite Them Not Minding The Words “Hispanic” And “Latino”
Does my comedy give you a moment of cathartic relief while doomscrolling? Become a paid subscriber to support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. 🥃
☕️ Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
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Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 