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- Trump is reportedly furious after a group of 125 presidential scholars just ranked Trump’s Iran War as the “dumbest war in US history.”
- “Fraud Czar” JD Vance is reportedly struggling to find examples of governmental fraud that doesn’t lead directly to some kind of effort by Donald Trump to bribe, grift, extort, reward, or blackmail the members of Congress, bureaucrats, or private contractors involved.
- Jared Kushner is reportedly in danger of the Gulf Sunnis withdrawing all the funds they let him use to pretend to be a successful investment fund manager, and bankrupting him as they reevaluate whether their bribes of the Trump Administration through Kushner are worth anything if Trump is just gonna do whatever Netanyahu and Israel want, no matter how much they invest.
- After making a giant, unforced geopolitical error that has caused an historic energy crisis, Trump is reportedly asking his top aides if they think he has surrounded himself with too many yes-men who either flatter him for personal benefit or are too afraid of him to tell him he’s wrong, and if they think that has negatively impacted his presidential legacy.
- A new poll found that 74% of Americans suspect Jared Kushner has “likely committed treason” by sabotaging the Iranian peace negotiations and acting as an agent of Israel to force the US into this war.
- Republicans in Iowa, Nebraska, and Kansas are worried they’ve fucked farmers so hard with the tariffs disrupting export markets and the Iran War’s inflation on the price of gasoline, diesel, and fertilizer that Democrats might win historic upset victories in November.
- Trump’s approval rating among US-born millionaires who are currently living in the UAE has reportedly plummeted by 50 points.
- Jared Kushner is reportedly worried the Gulf Sunnis will cut him off financially, Netanyahu’s coalition will lose the October elections, and Trump’s health will soon force him to resign so next year Kushner might find himself bankrupt without any political influence.
- Trump is reportedly asking his advisers if they think anyone would believe it if he had the FBI do a false-flag operation to bomb the office building where all the Epstein Files are stored and blamed Iran.
- White House officials are reportedly worried Iran is waiting until the US and its Gulf allies run low on defensive munitions and must start rationing before severely escalating their drone attacks to humiliate Trump who has been saying for days the war is over and Iran’s capabilities are destroyed.
- Top GOP officials are reportedly pissed Trump keeps threatening them about the SAVE Act because it’s Republicans who are actually less likely to have a passport, more likely to take their husband’s name, and more likely to live in rural areas far away from the nearest government office.
- Trump is reportedly caught in a catch-22 because Israel is forcing him to bomb Iran or they’ll release the Trumpstein files they have, Russia is demanding Trump stop bombing Iran and sell out Ukraine or they’ll release the Trumpstein files they have, and Trump also needs Ukrainian drones to defend against Iran.
- Ivanka Trump is reportedly worried that if the Democrats win the House they’ll subpoena Jared Kushner’s records and find that he committed treason by sabotaging the Iranian peace talks and starting a war for Israel’s gain, and the worst part is she might become poor.
- Trump is furious that all the “Board of Peace” nations have ghosted him after he asked if they’d help him clean up his mess in the Strait of Hormuz.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
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