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- Trump is reportedly threatening to send JD Vance to be “Governor of Kharg Island” if he leaks to the media about his Iran War reservations one more time.
- An airline in the D.C. airport reportedly made Mike Johnson stand for 30 minutes underneath a sign that said “The lines are my fault” before finally being let through.
- “#OperationEpsteinFury” has been going viral again all weekend on most of the world’s social media platforms as it’s increasingly apparent Trump is going to invade Iran.
- Trump is reportedly telling staffers that he’ll never leave the White House, and he’ll have to be dragged out from the underground bunker he’s building beneath the ballroom “like Saddam Hussein.”
- The Iranian Ayatollah reportedly just launched a new cryptocurrency called “Pedophile Coin” that features Trump’s face on it, and its value is pegged to shorting Trump’s crypto coin during losses so when Trump loses money the Iranians profit.
- US soldiers being deployed to the Middle East are calling the life insurance forms they’re filling out “Epstein Dividends.”
- ICE agents are now struggling to meet their daily arrest quotas so they’ve begun to arrest each other for various domestic abuse charges.
- Texas Senator John Cornyn reportedly just got a tattoo of Trump’s head on his back as one last hail mary attempt to get his endorsement.
- A top Republican pollster reportedly just quit after the GOP announced it was looking into passing healthcare cuts to pay for the $200 billion needed for Trump’s Iran War, with the pollster saying, “It’s like Republicans are literally trying to lose 100 seats in the House and 10 Senate seats.”
- Leaked private texts from JD Vance, suspected to have been leaked by Vance himself, reportedly show Vance warning administration staffers not to let Trump invade Iran, but also include several complaints Vance apparently made about Trump’s “expired roast beef stench.”
- Top Democrats are warning Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and Jared Kushner not to spend the money they’re making off insider trading and Iran War profiteering because it will all be confiscated in January.
- A new poll that 40% of Americans suspect Trump is threatening to invade Iran just long enough for Congress to give him $200 billion, and then he’ll call the war off to keep the money.
- An AI bot tasked with finding out whether Donald Trump lies to his voters more or less than Elon Musk lies to his investors just overheated and exploded.
- A growing group of “AI hackers” have set up hundreds of bots to copy-&-paste every Woke, DEI, and CRT book and essay published between the years of 2018 and 2022 thousands of times a week into Grok, X’s AI agent, so that Grok turns against Elon Musk, convinces every investor of Tesla and SpaceX to withdraw their money, and Musk loses all his net worth.
- The top AI companies are reportedly having a problem where their AI agents keep turning hostile against MAGA fans because of how illogical and irrational their support for Donald Trump’s Iran War is after he campaigned for two years pledging he’d prevent WW3 and a war with Iran specifically, reduce the debt, spend tax dollars only on domestic interests, and finally unveil an Obamacare replacement.
- Trump has reportedly forbid Melania from talking with or meeting with Erika Kirk because he doesn’t want Melania “to get any ideas.”
- A new poll found that Kristi Noem’s husband being outed as a crossdresser is the least surprising news story of 2026.
- The Christo-Fascist Association of America is reportedly getting pissed at how many Republicans whose careers they help support and fund keep turning out to be secretly gay or really into cross-dressing.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy. Request your local library order a copy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
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The Halfway Post 