
- Vladimir Putin says he never would have colluded with Trump if he knew Trump was a sex-trafficking rapist.
- Moderate Republican senators are reportedly begging their Congressional colleagues privately to release the Epstein files to finally impeach, convict, and ban Donald Trump from politics once and for all.
- A group of 500 MAGA fans in Idaho have started a hunger strike they vow will last until Pam Bondi releases all the Epstein files and “totally exonerates Trump.”
- A new poll found that 96% of Americans want Congress to publicly subpoena Bill Barr, Merrick Garland, Alex Acosta, Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, and Donald Trump to testify under oath about what’s going on with the Epstein files.
- Trump is reportedly planning to start suing anyone who calls him the following names: “The Mushroom Rapist, “President Pedophile,” “Epstein’s BFF,” “The Pervert-in-Chief,” “Degenerate Don,” or “The Mar-a-Lago Molester.”
- Teens reportedly used chalk to write “BEWARE THE MAR-A-LAGO MOLESTER!” all around the pool at Trump’s resort.
- More countries say they’re refusing any new trade negotiations with Donald Trump until the Epstein files are released.
- Ghislaine Maxwell reportedly claimed Epstein had to pay the girls extra for Trump because he smelled so bad.
- Pete Hegseth is reportedly relieved the Epstein files are finally giving him a break from nonstop criticism.
- The feminist mafia that calls itself “The Cliterati” are reportedly searching for all the girls and women Donald Trump has sex-trafficked or assaulted to support and fund them suing Trump and breaking whatever NDAs he had them sign.
- Donald Trump Jr. is suspiciously quiet about the Epstein list coming out all of a sudden after years of demanding its release.
- There were many fewer children at Mar-a-Lago than usual this weekend following Trump’s exploding Epstein crisis.
- Senator Susan Collins says Trump has “learned his lesson” about sex-trafficking girls.
- Trump’s doctors say that if we keep bringing up the Epstein files the stress could cause him to have a debilitating stroke.
- Several Republican towns in Idaho are hosting “MAGA bonfires” this weekend to burn all their MAGA themed hats, flags, and other merch, with organizers saying, “We can’t be wearing hats celebrating a rapey, sex-trafficking pedophile.”
- Schrödinger’s Epstein List:
1. Real, and full of Democrats
2. A fake list made up by Obama and Biden
3. Never existed
4. America needs to move on - Conservatives feeling betrayed by Trump’s Epstein cover-up are pledging to never vote again.
- ICE is reportedly having staffing problems because the agency’s newest hires keep turning out to be liberals who spend their free time during course of training to convince all the other agents that ICE’s work is unAmerican and unConstitutional.
- Trump says if his supporters don’t shut up about the Epstein files he won’t run for a third term.
- After Trump called all his supporters who believe in the Epstein files stupid, Don Jr. reportedly feels guilty about talking so much about Epstein for the last 8 years.
- NASA just confirmed that the James Webb Space Telescope has finished scanning the entire visible cosmos and can confidently confirm that Donald Trump is the biggest sex offender in the universe. 🥃
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