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- Trump is reportedly looking for an artist to paint the ceiling of his new White House ballroom with 47 images of himself, some of them nude.
- A new poll found that just 3% of Americans are surprised the nation’s College Republicans groups are filled with self-proclaimed Nazis.
- China, North Korea, and Russia reportedly removed all internet censorship during the No Kings protests so their citizens could see the epic protests against Trump.
- Trump is reportedly pissed because his AI video of dropping feces on the No Kings protesters backfired, and is once again making #TrumpSmellsLikeShit trend on all the social media platforms.
- Three more national magazines are joining Time Magazine in using photos of Trump with prominent views of his neck vagina for their covers this coming week.
- White House staffers say Trump spent all day today demanding his aides make him AI videos of himself pooping on everyone he could think of that he hated.
- Trump is demanding stores stop selling frog costumes.
- A new poll found that 94% of Americans want a journalist to ask Trump if he thinks Epstein went to Heaven to see what he’ll say.
- Foreign ambassadors from all around the world are struggling to explain to their governments why Donald Trump would post a video of himself spraying diarrhea all over his own constituents.
- A forklift operator accidentally knocked over a row of porta-potties at the construction site of Trump’s new ballroom so now the entire White House smells like poop.
- Next Saturday hundreds of protesters wearing frog costumes are planning to hang out all day at the White House Ellipse to troll Trump.
- No one is more terrified of all these No Kings inflatable frog costumes than Alex Jones.
- A suspicious amount of Trump’s bailout money for Argentina is reportedly intended for blonde-haired, blue-eyed Argentines of German ancestry.
- A local MAGA fan is reportedly starting to wonder why, if the Epstein Files exonerate Trump from all allegations of sex trafficking, Trump won’t have the House of Representatives or DOJ release them.
- Trump is reportedly furious that so many people are calling the government shutdown the “Epstein shutdown,” and Trump is unsuccessfully trying to persuade Republicans in Congress to publicly call it the “Biden Shutdown” despite the fact that Biden has been out of office for 9 months.
- Trump’s pooping-on-protesters video went so viral that AI models are reportedly now including diarrhea in every prompted video of Trump.
- Trump reportedly wants to demolish the Lincoln Memorial for his new “Arc de Trump” because Lincoln “only stopped one war” whereas he claims he has stopped 8. 🥃
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The Halfway Post 
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