Join my comedic rebellion against Trumpism — subscribe to support my satire for just $2.50 a month.
- Trump is reportedly furious that Republicans are privately calling him “Kryptonite” for their campaigns because his incredibly low approval ratings are wiping out voter turnout in special elections even in super red states.
- Trump has reportedly been wearing his FIFA Peace Prize around his neck all weekend.
- Two more towns in Idaho that voted overwhelmingly for Trump in 2024 are hosting “MAGA Bonfires” tomorrow to burn their red hats because Trump still hasn’t released the Epstein Files.
- A judge just ruled that none of the $12 billion in farmer bailout money Trump is giving out to cover for his disastrous tariffs can go to people who have called for ending food stamps.
- Doctors in New York just named a newly discovered STD after Donald Trump, bringing the number of sexual diseases named in honor of Trump to 6.
- A new perfume called “Essence of Trump” made several of its smell testers vomit because of how accurate it is to Trump’s infamous stench.
- A new study found that 70% of men who call themselves “alpha males” get winded from standing up too fast.
- RFK Jr. and Sean Duffy have invited Donald Trump to do pull-ups at a photo-op in the D.C. airport, but Trump declined the offer.
- Jared Kushner just got voted “Talentless Nepo Baby of the Year.”
- Doctors are reportedly baffled how Trump’s dementia is making him forget everything except how much he hates female reporters.
- Mike Johnson is reportedly beginning to worry that God does not have big, historic plans for his Speakership.
- Trump is reportedly asking around if it looks suspicious that, every time the Epstein Files clear another hurdle to be released, he posts a long, meandering Truth Social post begging everyone to remember how he’s the greatest president ever.
- Several Republicans in Oklahoma are reportedly trying to defund the state’s Department of Education and replace all the teachers with TVs that show episodes from the podcasts of Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Candace Owens so that Oklahoma’s budget can save a surplus big enough to cut the state’s corporate taxes.
- The Supreme Court is reportedly considering a ruling that corporations can legally marry each other and file their taxes jointly for lower tax rates.
- Local soybean farmers say they wish there had been some warning that Trump’s tariffs would be bad for them prior to voting to reelect him in 2024.
- BREAKING: Fox News hosts just invented an entirely fictional, made up culture war insult no one has ever Googled or even thought about before, and is now furiously angry about it.
- A farmer pissed with Trump for ruining America’s pork exports with his tariffs reportedly just let loose a dozen pigs on Trump’s New Jersey golf course.
- A MAGA fan says he feels duped after going deep into debt spending $7,000 on a used car expecting Donald Trump to follow through on his administration’s promises that they’d give out $5,000 D.O.G.E. checks and $2,000 tariff checks this year.
- Senate Democrats are reportedly offering Donald Trump the deal Trump offered to Venezuela’s Maduro where he can have amnesty and keep $200 million if he leaves the US and lives the rest of his life in Russia or Qatar.
- Become a paid subscriber and support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. 🥃
☕️ Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 