Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras such as ours. Become a paid subscriber to support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. Never stop laughing at the fascists.
- The National Association of Pedophiles just announced Donald Trump has won their “2025 Pedophile Protector of the Year” award.
- Greenland’s legislature just signed a bill that said no treaties can be signed by pedophile protectors.
- Top Trump Administration staffers worry that, if blue states and cities pass laws to unmask ICE agents and force them to wear visible identification, half the agents will quit and the other half will be revealed as convicted sex offenders.
- A federal judge reportedly just ruled that Trump accepting a Nobel Peace Prize he didn’t win in an obvious bribe attempt by an exiled opposition leader of a country from which Trump just abducted the dictator violates the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, and he must give it back.
- Several ICE agents quit today after Black Panthers and some truce-declaring gangs showed up to the protests with guns.
- A dozen MAGA fans in Arkansas have reportedly begun a hunger strike they vow will last until either Donald Trump releases the Epstein Files like he is legally required to, or they die.
- The man who got a Trump tattoo on his forehead said he now has to tell people a lot that he got the tattoo before Trump started protecting pedophiles.
- ICE is reportedly offering counseling services to all the agents whose girlfriends and wives have broken up with them, as well as the agents who can’t get any girls to go on dates with them and are involuntarily celibate.
- The National Pedophile Association is reportedly launching a pressure campaign with commercials airing on Fox News to convince Donald Trump to come to their gala and accept in person the trophy they have awarded him for being named “Pedophile Protector Of The Year.”
- ICE officials are reportedly worried about blue states and cities passing laws that restrict gun access to sex offenders because it would mean many of the ICE agents would have to do their jobs unarmed.
- A new poll finds that 64% of Americans will assume any of the billionaires going to Davos who don’t confront Trump about him wrecking the global economy with idiotic tariffs and causing unprecedented instability of the rules-based, US-led world order are in the Epstein Files.
- The National Association of Pedophiles is reportedly pissed that Trump demands he be given every award he didn’t earn, but he won’t accept their “2025 Pedophile Protector of the Year” award he actually did earn.
- Greg Bovino is reportedly beginning to worry he’d have eagerly joined the Nazis if he was alive in Germany during the 1930s, and probably even the 1920s too.
- Top Republicans are reportedly beginning to worry that, with ICE, Stephen Miller has assembled an army of sex offenders.
- Officials from several foreign countries are reportedly attending Davos specifically to threaten Donald Trump in private with releasing some Epstein Files their countries’ intelligence services “may or may not have” if he doesn’t stop being a psycho.
- A new poll found that 81% of Americans worry Trump will give a crazy speech at Davos threatening other countries, prompting their leaders to criticize him, which will make him obsess over getting vengeance with tariffs, which will punish Americans with higher prices.
- Become a paid subscriber and support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. 🥃
☕️ Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.
I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.
Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
Browse my comedy portfolio, my graffiti news portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.
The Halfway Post 