Trump Is Pissed Everyone Keeps Saying He Looks Exactly Like His Mother

Is this a picture of Donald or his mother? I really can’t tell.

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Trump is reportedly furious so many people keep sharing pictures of how he looks exactly like his mother, and how his boobs are bigger than hers.
A new poll found that 97% of Americans want former AG Bill Barr to be deposed to find out why, in 2019, he killed the NM investigation into Epstein’s Zorro Ranch that the files suggest could be filled with dead bodies, and why he worked as a fixer for the pedophiles.
A new economic study found that imprisoning all the rich Epstein pedophiles and confiscating their money would finally trickle down wealth to everyone due to billions of dollars no longer being laundered to pay for trafficking kids, silencing victims, and ratfucking the entire US government.
The rash on Trump’s neck is reportedly from Netanyahu choking him out in their meeting until Trump agreed to bomb Iran.
Kash Patel is reportedly pissed the sudden risk of Iranian terror attacks in the US is forcing him to cancel his planned trips to several March Madness basketball games.
Dozens of NM residents are reportedly planning a novel legal move they’re calling a “citizens’ search” at Zorro Ranch, and they plan to detain the demon-looking owner and dig for evidence of the bodies the Epstein Files suggest are buried there because the DOJ won’t.
JD Vance is reportedly telling people that Trump’s lack of any strategy for this unprovoked war in Iran means his 2028 presidential campaign is over before it started.
Republicans are reportedly drafting a “Project 2027” that strategizes how to blame the potential Democratic Congress next year for all the deficit spending Trump is doing, and how Fox News can gradually pivot toward caring about deficits again without reminding Republican voters that, once again, Republicans — not Democrats — have exploded the debt.
Expert doctors say Trump’s neck rash looks like extreme syphilis that has spread from his crotch, and if his neck looks that red with such alarming scabbing, “Then almost certainly the President’s genitals have long ago flaked off and disintegrated.”
EXCLUSIVE SCOOP: Trump’s neck rash has reportedly spread to his manboobs, and his saucer nipples keep bleeding through his suits.
A new poll found that 80% of Democrats want the Pope and other Christian leaders to bring back regular excommunication for Trump Administration officials, Congressional Republicans, and ICE agents.
Trump’s neck rash reportedly originated from his throat vagina.
A televangelist in Texas is claiming Trump’s war in Iran will bring about the Apocalypse and Rapture so all his congregants should immediately liquidate as many of their assets as possible and donate all their cash to the pastor’s “Heaven account” in the Cayman Islands.
Pete Hegseth has reportedly locked himself in his office and is telling staffers he can’t come out and answer the media’s questions about the war’s objectives, rising US casualties, or bombed bases until he finishes 1,776 pushups to ensure the military doesn’t turn gay.
JD Vance is reportedly worried Trump’s giant neck rash is indicative of his rumored long-term syphilis condition flaring up, and Trump will have to resign for health reasons and leave Vance to deal with this Iranian clusterf*ck he argued against to begin with.
Former neo-Nazis who became Proud Boys before joining ICE are reportedly looking for Netanyahu’s son, who is currently residing in Miami, so they can deport him back to Israel as punishment for his dad using pedophile blackmail on Trump to force the US into a new forever war.
Betting markets are now taking bets on whether the rash, the syphilis, or a stroke gets Trump first.
A man who got “MAGA” tattooed on his entire back says Trump has “betrayed all his voters and broken his top campaign promises by protecting all the pedophiles in the Epstein Files and starting a new war in the Middle East,” and now he feels like he really must vote for Democrats to reign Trump back in and check and balance the chaos Trump is daily creating.
A famously homophobic televangelist from Georgia says he’s so certain Donald Trump’s war in Iran will bring about the Apocalypse and then Rapture him and his congregation up to Heaven that he’s vowing if he’s still on Earth by Friday he’ll give blowjobs to 1,000 men.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.

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