Trump Is Terrified Of DOJ Whistleblowers Who Saw Him In The Epstein Files

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Pam Bondi is reportedly worried that some of the DOJ staffers she forced to comb through tens of thousands of Epstein-related documents to remove all the photos of Trump and references to his involvement in the sex-trafficking may have intentionally left some in.
Nicolás Maduro is reportedly warning Trump that bombing Venezuela won’t make the Epstein Files go away, or make Americans approve of the White House ballroom, or cure his dementia, or fix his terrible body odor.
White House insiders say Trump’s recent TV address was broadcast on a 10-second delay so any of Trump’s increasingly audible problems with sphincter control could be quickly edited out of the telecast.
Pam Bondi is reportedly worried everyone will be able to tell when it’s Donald Trump’s name being redacted in the Epstein Files by counting out the 6 blacked out letters followed by 5 more.
Mike Johnson reportedly practiced all week long saying, “I’m just so busy I haven’t seen any of the Epstein Files!” in front of a mirror.
Nicolás Maduro says he will resign and leave Venezuela in exchange for Donald Trump’s medical records and recent MRI results.
Trump is reportedly furious that his plans to sue so many news organizations are being foiled by the lawyers’ discovery demands for access to his tax returns, medical records, and a semen deposit to check if his DNA matches any DNA found in the Epstein evidence.
The Vanity Fair photographer’s only regret was not getting a shot of JD Vance posed on a couch.
Susie Wiles reportedly laughed for 26 seconds when she found out Trump was considering firing her and replacing her with Kevin McCarthy.
Protesters are reportedly clogging up ICE’s phone lines by calling in to report “illegal aliens,” and then wasting the ICE agents’ time with long, meandering stories about UFO sightings, abductions, and anal probes.
Barack Obama and Joe Biden reportedly called each other during Trump’s national address and laughed so hard making fun of how lame, pathetic, and low energy his speech was that they each strained an abdominal muscle.
Mike Johnson was just humiliated again with another bipartisan discharge petition that goes around his objections and forces a vote on a bill that mandates Trump do something about his infamous body odor.
Even MAGA influencers are saying Trump’s speech made him look like an “elderly, bitter, washed up, low energy lunatic who is incapable of reading the room and acknowledging that his second term is floundering and clinging to narcissistic fantasies of self-delusion.”
Organizers of Trump’s proposed “Patriot Games” promise they will not let Trump walk into any of the girls’ locker rooms.
A new poll found that 96% of Americans want Congress to publicly subpoena Dan Bongino to testify under oath about what he saw the FBI and DOJ do with the Epstein files that has motivated him to quit.
15 MAGA fans from Idaho are starting a hunger strike they vow will last until either Pam Bondi releases all the Epstein Files concerning Trump completely unredacted to prove his innocence once and for all, or they starve to death.
Families across America left cookies and milk out for Lady Justice Thursday night for Epstein Files Eve.
After Elise Stefanik dropped out of the New York governor’s race, she’s reportedly starting to think it was a mistake to go full MAGA.
How many DOJ whistleblowers would you bet are right now writing reports about photos and videos depicting Trump’s Epstein involvement they personally saw that didn’t make it into the released files?
God is reportedly disgusted Pam Bondi has sold her soul for Donald Trump.
Federal marshals are reportedly on their way to the DOJ to arrest Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche for not complying with explicit court orders to release all the Epstein Files after a pissed judge announced, “I’m done f*cking around with these pedophile protectors. I swore an oath to this Constitution and the rule of law it guides, and it’s a fact the law has mandated, at long last, to reveal and end the absurd perversion of justice surrounding this corrupt President’s sex-trafficking monster of a former best friend. A great number of the President’s acquaintances, business partners, subservient members of Congress, and other spineless officials at both the state and federal level have been co-conspirators to this decades-long farce law enforcement, but I will not. I will not yield to threats, bribery, sycophancy, opportunism, ambition, struggle, or timidity and permit, in my courtroom, such mockery and flouting of our legal system. The Congress has passed a law to reveal these documents, and it is my judicial responsibility and sacred obligation to do something about the executive branch’s willful obstruction of Constitutional order and plain moral righteousness. This President may perhaps not be a sex-trafficking monster himself, but his continued protection of sex-traffickers has no legal merit any longer. The Congress gave him 30 days to unveil ALL these documents, and he has been negligent in faithfully executing the law, which is the Constitutional duty he himself swore an oath to fulfil. The Constitution may not mean anything to him, but it means something to my courtroom. So I have directed the marshalls to, in the President’s own very Epsteinian words, move on his lieutenants like a bitch, and arrest them because this is the motherf*cking United States of America, and we have the most venerated founding document in all of human civilization in our Constitution, and I would rather die than let this corrupt administration get away with refusing to abide by its consecrated separation of powers that mandate they execute and enforce the laws passed by Congress. I close with a warning to the President: try me, bitch.”
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