Pelosi Says She’ll Pass A New Article Of Impeachment Each Week Until Trump Resigns

Washington D.C.—

According to several Democratic staffers, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has agreed to a new House impeachment strategy of releasing one new article of impeachment against President Donald Trump each week for as many weeks as it takes Mr. Trump to resign.

A staffer on the House Democratic leadership team anonymously supplied an audio tape of Mrs. Pelosi explaining the strategy.

The following are her words:

“Trump thinks he escaped because Republicans gave him their balls by refusing to subpoena Bolton. I’ve got news for the President: I’ve got his balls, and I’m going to squeeze until he screams ‘uncle!’ Mitch McConnell can’t fuck with me any longer. He wants to play games with the Senate trials, that’s fine with me. Starting next week, we’ll pass a new article of impeachment each week, and make McConnell have to spend every waking hour of every day in ceaseless Trump impeachment trials. They’ll never get to confirm another unqualified, idiot conservative federal judge again. And, meanwhile, we’ll bombard Pompeo, Mulvaney, Bolton, Giuliani and McGahn’s brains out with lawsuits and subpoenas until they get on their knees and beg me to make all the litigation stop. Oh, they’ll squeal. When they’re spendings thousands of dollars on lawyers every week filing executive privilege claims on each and every individual email, memo and conversation they’ve ever had about the President, they’ll squeal like stuck pigs. I cannot wait to watch the President’s tiny little sausage fingers smear the tears in his eyes all over his ridiculous orange orangutan face as he realizes I’ve got him fucked while the sting of his smeared tanning lotion burns his retinas. Boys, we’re gonna grab the President by his pussy because when I, Nancy Pelosi, am Speaker of the House, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want! Someone get me an orange case of tic-tacs, I’m gonna take the President furniture shopping and move on him like a bitch.”

You go, girl.

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(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

41 thoughts

  1. This is a critically sad dangerous time in the History of the American Presidency! If the $80 million bounty placed on Trump is true, Nancy better do her job and expedite these proceedings. STOP playing around with innocent Americans lives! There has to be SOMEONE who can take charge of Congressional responsibility!

    1. Trump might not know how to talk to ppl. Mught get under ppls skin. Call you out your name. But we did not elect him to watch his tongue. We elected him to run a country , which he is foing a good job at that. Instead of trying to impeach, should be trying to resolve issues we have. Democrats so bitter that they criticize every movement he does. Get over it. He is every American’s president.

        1. You would never understand so why waste our time but the American people know and we will vote for him again. He’s the best of any president that we have ever had. He could get more done if he had a little help but he has God and all the Americans on his side so feel sorry for you all that can’t see that and want the worst for our country. I love my freedom. Don’t you??

        2. Emiko, you write like you’re retarded, but let me help you out with an answer. Trump pulled us out of the Paris Climate Accord for one thing. He’s removed many, many regulations that made it practically impossible to do business, which super charged our economy. Additionally, he got us out of NAFTA and renegotiated our trade relationships with Mexico and Canada. He’s helped our veterans, he’s working on legislation to get the opioid crisis under control. He signed a bill allowing critically ill people to seek new treatments for end-of-life diseases. Shall I go on? You know, there’s ample information on the internet as to what Trump has done. And yet you are here asking other people to tell you what he’s done. Just do a Google search, you lazy bastard.

          1. Kill me now, You are absolutely right!!!! Our economy is booming and our unemployment rate is at a record low!!!! He is doing a wonderful job as President.

      1. No we will not give over nothing that this FOOL does the United States of America is BETTER than this. Now he has to Go. The FOOLS that said get over it why not America.

          1. He’d be richer if he’d have invested his inheritance. He also adds in his debt when he calculates his wealth. He’s a criminal. He’s been laundering money for the Russian mob. That’s how he “managed” more than one casino into bankruptcy. The skim was so high that the casinos couldn’t survive. He’s a fool. You support him which makes you a fool’s fool.

          1. It’s “you’re” as in “You are an idiot” or “You’re an idiot.” This is the reason why you believe in your stupid incoherent orange messiah. Pathetic.

          2. Resorting to name calling when you can’t prove your point. Not a good look for you or the president

      2. NO WE WILL NOT GET OVER ANYTHING THAT THIS FOOL DOES THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS BETTER THAN THIS. ALL FOOLS THAT SAY OR SAID GET OVER IT WHY NOT AMERICA.

        1. we are certainly all better than you…take shifts dick out of your mouth and stop licking pelosi’s ass…your better than that.. aren’t you? probably not…eat some more twinkies fatso

      3. Nope he’s Russia’s puppet not my president not the majority of Americans president but the poorly educated and the Russians president

        1. If you can’t use punctuation correctly (or at all) and you’re still talking about Russians, you’re not that well educated.

  2. Trump ain’t doing a dam thing for this country. If he want to do something send them two idiots sons of his in the military and to Iraq.

    1. Take a hike Jamal asshole!! Where you from anyway boy?well you don’t sound like your from around here, so go back to whatever hole you crawled out of afreaka!!!

  3. Emiko is a bully, he bullys us, his wife and probably kicks his neighbor’s dog around!
    Emiko I know what kind of country I want my great grandchildren to grow up in and it s not yours!
    Please go back under the rotten cabbage leaf you crawled out of pleass!
    Dah dah Emiko you re a bully!
    Pelosi has done terrible things, she s being told what to do and how to do it and if she dont get Trump out of office ed all her shit going to be out there and she ll be in big trouble with all the ppl. So she s scrambling to try to do as the ppl holding things over head are telling her to do!
    That s all folks, good evening,!

  4. Ismal go back to where you came from and on top of it Pelosi needs to be removed along with Schiff Schumer and Nadler and a few others including all the towel heads

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