Pelosi Says She’ll Pass A New Article Of Impeachment Each Week Until Trump Resigns

Washington D.C.—

According to several Democratic staffers, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has agreed to a new House impeachment strategy of releasing one new article of impeachment against President Donald Trump each week for as many weeks as it takes Mr. Trump to resign.

A staffer on the House Democratic leadership team anonymously supplied an audio tape of Mrs. Pelosi explaining the strategy.

The following are her words:

“Trump thinks he escaped because Republicans gave him their balls by refusing to subpoena Bolton. I’ve got news for the President: I’ve got his balls, and I’m going to squeeze until he screams ‘uncle!’ Mitch McConnell can’t mess with me any longer. He wants to play games with the Senate trials, that’s fine with me. Starting next week, we’ll pass a new article of impeachment each week, and make McConnell have to spend every waking hour of every day in ceaseless Trump impeachment trials. They’ll never get to confirm another unqualified, idiot conservative federal judge again. And, meanwhile, we’ll bombard Pompeo, Mulvaney, Bolton, Giuliani and McGahn’s brains out with lawsuits and subpoenas until they get on their knees and beg me to make all the litigation stop. Oh, they’ll squeal. When they’re spendings thousands of dollars on lawyers every week filing executive privilege claims on each and every individual email, memo and conversation they’ve ever had about the President, they’ll squeal like stuck pigs. I cannot wait to watch the President’s tiny little sausage fingers smear the tears in his eyes all over his ridiculous orange orangutan face as he realizes I’ve got him screwed while the sting of his smeared tanning lotion burns his retinas. Boys, we’re gonna grab the President by his crotch because when I, Nancy Pelosi, am Speaker of the House, I’ll do whatever the F I want! Someone get me an orange case of tic-tacs, I’m gonna take the President furniture shopping and move on him like a bitch.”

You go, girl.

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(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

43 thoughts

  1. This is a critically sad dangerous time in the History of the American Presidency! If the $80 million bounty placed on Trump is true, Nancy better do her job and expedite these proceedings. STOP playing around with innocent Americans lives! There has to be SOMEONE who can take charge of Congressional responsibility!

    1. Trump might not know how to talk to ppl. Mught get under ppls skin. Call you out your name. But we did not elect him to watch his tongue. We elected him to run a country , which he is foing a good job at that. Instead of trying to impeach, should be trying to resolve issues we have. Democrats so bitter that they criticize every movement he does. Get over it. He is every American’s president.

      1. While did you post anonymously?? So not true. What has he done that was so great? Please explain?

        1. You would never understand so why waste our time but the American people know and we will vote for him again. He’s the best of any president that we have ever had. He could get more done if he had a little help but he has God and all the Americans on his side so feel sorry for you all that can’t see that and want the worst for our country. I love my freedom. Don’t you??

        2. Kill me now, You are absolutely right!!!! Our economy is booming and our unemployment rate is at a record low!!!! He is doing a wonderful job as President.

        3. Everything. Plain and simple. Shouldn’t be to difficult for a liberal to understand.

      2. No we will not give over nothing that this FOOL does the United States of America is BETTER than this. Now he has to Go. The FOOLS that said get over it why not America.

          1. He’d be richer if he’d have invested his inheritance. He also adds in his debt when he calculates his wealth. He’s a criminal. He’s been laundering money for the Russian mob. That’s how he “managed” more than one casino into bankruptcy. The skim was so high that the casinos couldn’t survive. He’s a fool. You support him which makes you a fool’s fool.

          1. It’s “you’re” as in “You are an idiot” or “You’re an idiot.” This is the reason why you believe in your stupid incoherent orange messiah. Pathetic.

          2. Resorting to name calling when you can’t prove your point. Not a good look for you or the president


      4. Nope he’s Russia’s puppet not my president not the majority of Americans president but the poorly educated and the Russians president

        1. If you can’t use punctuation correctly (or at all) and you’re still talking about Russians, you’re not that well educated.

        1. She is a waste of space too… can’t wait till she is kicked out on her ass! We have too many problems no w with her creating even more because of a personal vendetta,! Someone put a price on her head please so we can get on with life?

  2. Trump ain’t doing a dam thing for this country. If he want to do something send them two idiots sons of his in the military and to Iraq.

    1. Take a hike Jamal asshole!! Where you from anyway boy?well you don’t sound like your from around here, so go back to whatever hole you crawled out of afreaka!!!

    2. No one can send anyone to the military just fyi…there is not a draft anymore. Trump 2020!

  3. Ismal go back to where you came from and on top of it Pelosi needs to be removed along with Schiff Schumer and Nadler and a few others including all the towel heads

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