St. Louis, MO—
Goodbye 2020! You were a f***ed up year, but I was able to wring out some cathartic laughs to deal with your 12 months of chaos.
The Halfway Post earned over a million page views this year, and these were our top 10 most viewed and shared articles:
#1 Joel Osteen is a rich target for mockery, as any prosperity gospel televangelist is, and this has been my most viewed article of all time thanks to search engine traffic coming from people asking Google how rich Joel Osteen is and seeing this very near the top of the results. I think it’s fitting and deserved.
#2 I have claimed John Bolton has claimed many things about Donald Trump throughout his post-Trump tell-all book tour. The details are made up in this one, but I’m pretty sure the headline is factual.
#3 This one went pretty viral. It’s a little fake news-y, but I thought the irony of Eric doing something Trump spent his entire campaign hitting Biden for was obvious comedy. Sometimes I forget that the Trump family has disemboweled satire and parody, and no claim is too far-fetched anymore to believe someone with the Trump surname couldn’t have really done it. When any of my articles start going viral I typically go back in and throw in more jokes to make it even more ridiculous and obviously satirical, which made this article one of my longer ones. The bit about trading copper coins for silver coins is actually something I did to my twin brother when we were younger. I somehow caught on to the concept of monetary value slightly ahead of him.
#4 I’ve done several articles on these poor, beleaguered “Blacks 4 Trump” groups just trying to diversify their membership rosters. This one has the snappiest title, but my favorite one I wrote involves them using blackface to pretend they already have Black members. To make it authentic they walk around “carrying autobiographies of Malcolm X and DVDs of Bad Boys II.” The idea that they’d walk around carrying physical Bad Boys II DVDs always makes me laugh.
#5 Jim Jordan is the biggest douche in the universe. This one obviously went viral because of the absurd idea that Donald Trump would ever run a mile.
#6 This one might have been popular just because of collective wishful thinking.
#7 I couldn’t help but think up this truthful headline. Conservative Evangelical hypocrisy is a well that never dries up.
#8 Ha.
#9 When satirizing Donald Trump you tend to do a lot of prophesying ridiculous things that Trump will some day do or say. I’ve read several headlines in the news about Trump doing something I made a joke about him doing a year or two before, and I’m waiting for this to come true.
#10 This is actually a sequel article to my #2 article of all time, which was just about a White House chef quitting because Trump eats nothing but fast food. Interestingly, I wrote and published that article two weeks after launching The Halfway Post, and it quickly got to 100,000 page views, which definitely fooled me into thinking virality would be easier than it really is. The gross eating habits I thought up for Trump in this one still make me giggle.
Thanks for reading The Halfway Post and getting through 2020 with us, and here’s to a 2021 without Donald Trump being president for much longer! Cheers!
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