Trump Wants His Voters To Kneel During The National Anthem To Protest His Loss

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump has apparently changed his mind on the form of protest in which activists kneel during the national anthem, and articulated his change of heart in a Twitter thread:

“Starting immediately, this country is in mourning, and everyone should kneel during the national anthem to protest the deep state rigging the election against me! It’s the most unfair thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of humanity! RIGGED!”

“If Kaepernick can kneel for some measly civil rights violations, MAGA patriots can kneel for a much more terrifying social injustice! MAGA fans should also wear black for the next four years, and cry in public so everyone around them knows they’re upset the best president in US history was wronged in the most rigged election OF ALL TIME!”

“The Democrats were very clever with their rigging by making sure they lost several House seats and came short of taking the Senate, but don’t be fooled by their subtle cheating! They only tampered with the votes that were supposed to be for me (so the Republicans who did win can celebrate their victories despite those same ballots being fraud in the presidential election)!”

“The Democrats were so clever they even somehow convinced Republican governors and secretaries of state in several states to collude with them to help the GOP lose the presidency! Talk about RINOs! Did Hillary Clinton abduct their children and threaten to drink their blood if they didn’t cooperate with the evil Democrats? People are talking!”

“The fact is that Democrats did everything they could to steal the election! They kept counting the votes in all the states where I specifically asked them to stop because I was ahead, and they finished counting votes in all the states where I specifically asked them to keep finding new ballots because I was behind! They’re the hypocritical ones, not me!”

“foolproof way to get out of two dozen rape lawsuits”

“Oops! Disregard that last tweet! Barron was playing with my phone again! Don’t forget I’m the most innocent president we’ve ever had! No one has faced more Presidential Harassment than me! MAGA!”

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