ICE Officials Are Worried Protesters Will Open-Carry AR-15s And “Fear For Their Lives” When ICE Drives By

First up, a new Brain Milk podcast is up. I talked with Adrian Polk about the ICE murder in Minneapolis, Venezuela, and the shifting geopolitics of Trump’s lunatic foreign policy.

Secondly, this edition of my Dada News is a real “Fuck Ice” edition. ICE is literally following the Nazi playbook of intimidating citizens and intentionally instigating chaos so they can crackdown and brutalize the public. Have you noticed there aren’t demonstrations by the Proud Boys, 3 Percenters, and other paramilitary groups anymore? It’s because they all joined ICE. Fuck them, and ICE needs to be abolished, but until then every act of assault perpetrated by ICE agents needs to be recorded so they can be prosecuted someday when the president isn’t a fascist wannabe dictator who’s using ICE as an army of domestic terrorists because the military won’t kill a bunch of citizens for him. Now, for the Dada news headlines:

A van full of ICE agents in Chicago reportedly gave themselves carbon monoxide poisoning by idling too long in a garage while waiting for a Hispanic-looking person to walk by so they could jump out and abduct him or her.
Top ICE officials are reportedly worried that regular citizens will start using the Minneapolis rationale for self-defense and shoot at every ICE vehicle that drives toward them while claiming they “feared for their lives,” and angry juries will let them off.
ICE officials are reportedly beginning to worry that no protesters they arrest will ever be found guilty by any juries because the agency is so wildly unpopular.
A group of anti-fascist hackers reportedly found a file with the home addresses of all the ICE agents in Minnesota, and are now mailing them red swastika armbands so the ICE agents “can complete their uniforms.”
The secretive feminist mafia who call themselves “The Cliterati” are reportedly launching a website next week that displays all the dick pics and names of ICE agents the Cliterati agents have received while catfishing them over the last 6 months.
Protesters are reportedly following ICE agents with bullhorns shouting, “Attention everyone, ICE is coming though! They are very scared, and easily frightened! Everyone move slowly or they’ll shoot you! Everyone whisper or they’ll shoot. They are more scared of you than you are of them!”
A group of radical libertarian NRA members in Oregon are reportedly open-carrying AR-15s and standing in front of ICE vehicles with smiles on their faces and daring the agents to move an inch toward them.
A federal judge says that the wording of a lot of red states’ “stand your ground” laws means that if ICE agents surround your car and threaten you it’s their fault if you run them over.
Top ICE officials are reportedly beginning to worry that if their agents are prosecuted for civil rights violations, assault, or murder that juries will find them guilty in 10 seconds of deliberation while voting for the max legal penalties.
Melania Trump reportedly wants other countries to know that if any of them are ever thinking about arresting her husband like Maduro got arrested, she’d rather die than be detained with him for even a day.
ICE is reportedly threatening that if people keep protesting the agency they’ll train their agents even LESS.
Stephen Miller is reportedly afraid the next Democratic president will send him to “Alligator Alcatraz.”
A GOP House member admitted on a hot mic that Trump is a sociopath and everyone in the party knows it, but 1/3 love owning the libs, 1/3 don’t want to lose the job perks and hope he strokes out soon, and 1/3 are afraid Trump will threaten their families’ safety.
[FACT-CHECK: jk, lol, we know the proportion of Republicans afraid of Trump’s cultists threatening their lives and families is MUCH higher than 1/3rd.]
The Nobel Committee says María Corina Machado giving Trump her medal doesn’t count, and Trump will “never in a million years” get a Nobel Peace Prize.
ICE officials are requesting protesters stop putting “TREAD ON ME HARDER, DADDY!” stickers on all their vehicles.
NATO officials just announced that Donald Trump will no longer be allowed to attend any meetings made up like an orange clown making a mockery of the alliance.
Major gangs in LA, Chicago, and NYC have reportedly agreed to truce in order to mutually defend their cities and fellow citizens from the domestic terrorists in ICE, who are following the Nazi playbook of instigating chaos so they can brutally crack down on freedom.
Black Panthers in open-carry states are reportedly agreeing it’s time to start exercising their Second Amendment rights to walk around with AR-15s in the places ICE is following the Nazi SA playbook.
Kristi Noem is reportedly getting extra Botox, filler, and a chemical peel today so she looks good for her impeachment hearings.
ICE agents are reportedly beginning to worry that the Trump Administration is TRYING to get them attacked and killed so Trump can talk emergency powers and make himself dictator, and that Trump doesn’t care about their safety or wellbeing at all.

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