ICE Is Worried If Congress Makes Agents Unmask, They’ll All Quit

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

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Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney reportedly told Trump that if he wants him to sign a new trade deal, Trump will have to give him the FIFA Peace Prize he was awarded.
Minnesota officials say Pam Bondi is far too behind schedule releasing the Epstein Files for them to in good conscience burden her with any extra work by giving her access to the state’s voter data she requested.
Restaurants, bars, and shops in Minneapolis are reportedly printing out signs of guillotines, and hanging them in the windows to signify no ICE agents are allowed inside.
Streaming companies are reporting that the film “The Inglorious Bastards” had record viewing all weekend, and viewers spent 10 million minutes rewinding and watching the scene where the Nazis get swastikas carved onto their faces.
Historians are naming “Donald Trump’s bird nest hairdo” as the 8th wonder of the world because it’s so unbelievable he thinks that looks good.
A federal judge says Americans have the constitutional First Amendment right to display a working guillotine in public with Stephen Miller and Greg Bovino’s names on it.
A federal judge just ruled that ICE showing arrested detainees Melania Trump’s new documentary amounts of “cruel and unusual punishment.”
The conservative dating app founded for ICE agents called “Red Flags” has not attracted a single female user in six months.
After Pam Bondi requested Minnesota’s voter data, MN officials reportedly sent her exactly 1% of their records with it all blacked out and a note on the top of every page that says, “Most transparent state government ever.”
ICE officials are reportedly worried that, if Congress requires ICE agents to unmask and wear identification, 75% of the agents will quit rather than be ostracised for the rest of their lives by family, friends, employers, and society.
Several pet stores in D.C. are reportedly banning Stephen Miller from adopting any animals fearing he’ll take out his aggression on them after Trump announced he is backing down from Miller’s extremist ICE policies.
Several Minneapolis protesters say they gave themselves warrants to travel to Greg Bovino’s house, break down his door, detain him for several days, refuse to let him call a lawyer, give him moldy food, sell his cell phone for cash, and shoot him if he doesn’t comply.
ICE officials are reportedly worried blue state cops and prosecutors will begin arresting and charging ICE agents, and local juries will be very unkind to them.
Pam Bondi has reportedly been banned by her local movie theatre and several restaurants near her house until the Epstein Files are released, with the managers explaining she shouldn’t be taking breaks from the work required to follow the law that all the Epstein Files be revealed.
Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth are reportedly relieved, and surprised, they weren’t the first major firing in the second Trump Administration.
A group of masked men who refused to identify themselves just abducted Greg Bovino as he screamed, “Now I know how it feels!”
A Minneapolis tattoo artist says he has no regrets after an ICE agent came into his studio asking for a “Punisher” skull tattoo and the artist instead tattooed a portrait of Kamala Harris instead.
Greenland officials say that before they agree to any future talks about mineral rights or military bases, Trump first must give them his FIFA Peace Prize.
Child Protective Services reportedly picked up Greg Bovino today after receiving multiple calls of a child walking around with no parents.
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