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- As Trump’s health deteriorates and he’s finding it increasingly hard to stay awake during meetings and press conferences, he’s reportedly getting more pissed daily at Joe Biden for stealing his “best dictator years.”
- Trump is reportedly angry about how many of his top level staffers and advisers keep giving foreign leaders tips on how to flatter, distract, and dupe him into bad deals that don’t benefit America much.
- Trump is reportedly worried Kash Patel will immediately start an Epstein Files themed podcast if he gets fired.
- Top Republican officials are reportedly terrified the TN special election will be a wakeup call that GOP House members will need to distance themselves from the unpopular Trump Administration, and that Trump will “be a bitch about it.”
- Trump is reportedly depressed because his doctors say his chance of living to the end of his presidential term is extremely slim, and he’s upset he’ll be one of the “loser presidents” who died in office.
- Pete Hegseth is reportedly starting to worry about a Congressional investigation subpoenaing the hundreds of emails he has sent about killing people.
- Trump is reportedly using wheelchairs and stairlifts in the White House, as well as a bathroom crane designed for zoo animals when he has to use the toilet.
- A top DOJ official says that when it’s time to release the Epstein Files he maybe won’t be wearing his glasses so he might “accidentally” release the stack of unredacted files instead of the stack of files Pam Bondi has spent months scrubbing Trump’s name from.
- Trump is reportedly getting pissed that Congressional Republicans are starting to perform oversight on his administration.
- Pete Hegseth has reportedly been asking his lawyers if they think he should stop bragging about killing people now that his boat bombings are being investigated by Congressional oversight committees.
- Vladimir Putin was asked by Russian reporters if he was afraid of any consequences for ignoring Donald Trump’s latest peace plan revisions that aren’t so one-sided against Ukraine, and Putin and the reporters laughed for 16 seconds.
- Pete Hegseth is reportedly starting to worry his mom was right, and he is a shitty person who didn’t deserve to be made Secretary of Defense.
- Trump says his claim that he has no idea what part of his body got scanned in his recent MRI test has nothing to do with the rumors that he has dementia.
- Karoline Leavitt claims Trump might have to do a “preventative leg amputation or two” to deal with his extremely swollen cankles.
- Trump is reportedly paying 100 FBI agents overtime to make redactions on the MRI scan results he promised he’d reveal.
- Trump reportedly wants to have a meeting with Senator Mark Kelly to settle their ongoing feud, but Trump’s staff are worried he’ll fall in love with the badass former naval aviator and astronaut like he did with Putin and Mamdani.
- Pete Hegseth could reportedly “really use a drink right now.”
- Trump is accusing Gavin Newsom of “crossing a red line” after Newsom claimed he could have dated Ivanka.
- Trump says his doctors can’t believe how mushy his brain is, and he claimed they told him it was the gooiest brain they had ever seen on an MRI scan.
- A government whistleblower says ICE is hiring the “biggest incel losers” he has ever seen.
- Kids on White House tours reportedly keep asking Trump why his face is orange, his hands are purple, and why he smells “like doo-doo.”
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The Halfway Post 