12 Cities So Far Have Renamed Their Landfills In Honor Of Donald Trump

Before we get to this week’s Dada News headlines, you can check out my latest Brain Milk podcast episode with Adrian Polk. Our chats on the absurdities of US politics make me laugh a lot, and I think you’ll enjoy it too:

• 12 cities so far this month have renamed their landfills after Donald Trump in honor of his obsession with naming everything he can after himself.
• Local MAGA fans are starting to connect the dots that Donald Trump ran teen beauty pageants where he bragged about creeping on the girls at the same time many of his best friends, who were convicted or at least accused of being sex-traffickers, ran modeling agencies.
•  Pam Bondi reportedly spent all day on Christmas worrying Trump will stroke out, JD Vance will fire her, she’ll be prosecuted for perjury and obstructing justice to protect pedophiles, and spend decades in prison reflecting on how ETTD.
• Al Qaeda reportedly just renamed its underground music hall in the Afghan mountains as “The Donald J. Trump and Osama Bin Laden Center For The Performing Arts” to honor Trump’s “achievements in bringing death to America.”
• The redacted Epstein Files reportedly include several videos of Trump walking around naked before his sexual activities screaming at his penis to “wake up” and slapping it around.
• Trump trolls across the country are printing out signs that say “The Donald J. Trump Monument,” and putting them on every porta-potty and dumpster they can find.
• Melania Trump is reportedly beginning to “get the ick” from her husband.
• The redacted Epstein Files reportedly include several videos of Donald Trump using a penis enlarger for hours at a time and screaming out loud that “erectile dysfunction is rigged against me!”
• Trump is reportedly furious after someone put signs saying “The Donald J. Trump Memorial” on all the porta-potties outside the White House where his ballroom is being constructed.
• Manure sellers in Nebraska, Iowa, and Kansas have so much dung left over this year because of the disastrous trade warring against China bankrupting thousands of soybean farmers that they’re competing over who can create the biggest “Trump Mountain” made of feces.
• Several local MAGA fans are reportedly wondering why, according to Donald Trump, Democrats created an “Epstein hoax” that he claims only details sex crimes perpetrated by Democrats.
• The woman who went viral for wearing a t-shirt that said “Trump can grab me by the pussy” to her liberal niece’s wedding says she has burned that shirt since the allegations of Trump’s participation in Epstein’s sex-trafficking ring came out.
• A top leader of al-Qaeda just admitted that Trump is doing such a good job of dismantling American hegemony that the terrorist organization has “really lost its zeal for wishing death upon Americans.”
• A top leader of ISIS said today in a press conference that Donald Trump’s defunding of Obamacare in America goes against the teachings of the Bible as well as the Koran.
• Several cities in blue states are reportedly naming their EPA superfund sites involving soil and water poisoned with nuclear waste, lead, mercury, asbestos, and cyanide after Donald Trump.
• Trump is reportedly not looking forward to his next meeting with his lawyers about the Epstein Files.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published two books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years. Or, better yet, request your local library order a copy on their website.

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