…It’s Pretty Obvious Conservatives Aren’t Praying Hard Enough For Mass Shootings To Stop


St. Louis, MO—

Another big mass shooting happened, and it’s such a cliché now that it had trouble climbing to the headlines of digital news.

Who wants to talk about it when so many mass shootings occur that the hip-shooter response from both sides is just exasperated cultural resentment?

Once again, conservative gun zealots shield themselves with their pavlovian worship of the right to potentially rise up in armed-rebellion against the government, and then refuse to believe that individual mass shootings are indicative of a larger societal failing. They announce immediately they will pray for the city just attacked with the carnage of a war zone—a military-grade machine gun is typically the mass shooting weapon of choice—and then announce that liberals are disrespectful to the victims and survivors by suggesting that these mass shootings could be stopped with sensible gun legislation.

But the problem is not that Conservatives haven’t picked a solution—they have. They picked prayer. They always say they will pray for America.

Buuuut they very evidently aren’t praying hard enough are they? I don’t believe they have committed themselves to praying long enough or hard enough to convince God to actually stop allowing these mass murders to happen. Conservatives are really letting America down.

And why would God alter his Grand Plan® just because conservatives asked him a lot? That doesn’t show any personal responsibility or moral growth on their part does it? It’s very obvious that God is only allowing mass shootings to happen because conservatives blatantly obstruct the sensible gun laws that our safe-from-domestic-mass-shootings European friends all swear by. God could not make it any more obvious for us what he wants us to do.

So, every mass murder that happens while the conservative movement neglects to responsibly legislate shall henceforth reflect on conservatives’ prayer abilities. I suspect that no conservative actually spends all day and night praying for the end of mass shootings. They no doubt waste a lot of free time they could spend praying watching TV and stuck in social media. Perhaps, conservatives merely throw in the mass shooting bit once in a short, minute-long casual prayer as they fall asleep.

Whatever conservatives’ routines in mass shooting-related prayers are, they’re conspicuously not enough. They should probably begin praying night and day. They should no doubt quit their social activities to pray more. Every second their prayers fail to bring about the end of this mass shooting era we find ourselves in is a second longer that God is enabled to murder more innocent people based on conservatism’s gun-political malpractice.

(Picture courtesy of Fuzzy Gerdes.)

20 thoughts

  1. I’m sorry, I stopped reading this garbage at “—a military-grade machine gun is typically the mass shooting weapon of choice—”. Name one instance where this is true?


      1. AR-15 doesn’t mean assault rifle it stands for ARMALITE. It’s defined as a semi-auto rifle, a civilian variant of a military weapon but is not “—a military-grade machine gun—”.


        1. The Vegas shooter used bump stocks to convert semi-automatic assault rifles to fire nearly as quickly as a full auto. A machine gun is fully automatic.


          1. And here come the semantics arguments that get us nowhere.The right jokes that the media doesn’t understand guns, so their entire opinion should be invalid. While the right may understand gun terminology, they don’t understand irony. Maybe the media should just using the term “weapons of mass destruction”?


          1. You’re absolutely right, you wouldn’t see one for a deer hunt, because the caliber is barely large enough for legally hunting deer, so most folks shoot a larger caliber. You know where you would see one of these guns on a regular basis? Shooting coyotes, raccoons, prairie dogs, or just shooting targets on a casual Sunday. How many times does a 9mm handgun kill someone in a city? A heck of a lot more than an Armalite – 15, and you know what? Those 9mm pistols are semi-automatic too!


          2. Thank you DC Mather for bringing specificity to the conversation. It’s the only to create gun legislation which will actually work.


  2. I’m as staunch an atheist as Christopher Hitchens, and as conservative of the second amendment as it gets. Like the person above said. A military grade machine gun is a fully automatic weapon and civilians are already not allowed to own modern machine guns manufactured after 1986. The guns being used are modern sporting rifles. They are semi-automatic just like pretty much every other modern firearm manufactured today.


    1. If your argument is based on the semantics of the words used to describe the gun rather than the horror of 26 people being shot to death in a church, along with the impact on the families of the dead, you’re a lot closed to being part of the problem than the solution.


      1. The answer almost certainly lies in hyperbolic descriptions of weapons that aren’t really accurate, with a nice shield of sarcasm and finger pointing to hide your ignorance. This article will only ever be poorly composed, poorly conceived, and biased. Mass generalizations about ‘conservatives’ don’t solve any problems. I’m not conservative, I don’t pray, I think bump stocks should be illegal, and you aren’t getting my guns either.

        Is this the halfway post because you only give serious topics half the attention and effort they deserve?


      2. It isn’t even CLOSE to my argument for allowing lawful civilians to own guns to protect their life and liberty. It was just myself merely stating facts and showing the ignorance of the person who wrote the article and his generalizations. Do you think it is a good idea to base arguments or laws that affect many different types of people on generalizations and ignorance? If that is the case you’re MUCH closer to being part of the problem than the solution.


  3. Can we please return to the topic at hand, which is the power of prayer and how it’s the solution most often sought? Let’s discussion how effective that is.


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