Donald Trump Goes Bankrupt In Family Monopoly Game, Sues His Children In Real Life

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Washington D.C.—

A Trump family game of Monopoly in the White House ended the same way President Donald Trump’s real life business ventures end: a Donald Trump bankruptcy followed by a barrage of lawsuits issued by Mr. Trump.

Trump was reportedly playing as the banker in a game that included Melania, Don Jr., Eric and Barron, and, despite multiple accusations of obvious Donald Sr. cheating via money laundering, President Trump still went bankrupt.

Mr. Trump quickly accused his children and wife of cheating—even though he was the banker—and threatened that he would sue them all in real life. On his next roll, Mr. Trump landed on the property tax square and became enraged, flipping the board and ruining the game for everyone because he had no money or unmortgaged properties left to pay the taxes he owed. Compounding his financial problems, no one else would loan him money because he hadn’t paid back any of his previous loans.

Barron, who had the most property value at the time, was declared the winner by Melania, which upset Eric, who burst into tears at how “unfair” the game was even though they had allowed him to start off with an extra $300 when he insisted the game wouldn’t be realistic unless he was privileged like in real life.

Don Jr. had received a go-directly-to-jail chance card the previous turn, and was relieved that the game was over and his piece would not have to stay long in prison.

President Trump then left the room and sulked for an hour, and when he returned he handed his children official notices that he was suing them all for $5 billion apiece for Trump brand damages due to the Monopoly bankruptcy they helped precipitate.

Eric Trump reportedly told his father to “go to heck.”

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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