Ted Cruz On Rand Paul Personally Shutting Down The Government: “Hey, That’s My Thing!”



Washington D.C.—

Senators Ted Cruz and Rand Paul have been friendly in the past, but Mr. Paul’s recent effort to shutdown the government in a procedural stunt has offended the Texan Mr. Cruz.

Of course, Cruz infamously shut down the government in 2013, while President Obama was in office, in order to protest the existence of Obamacare.

The Halfway Post stopped Mr. Cruz in a hallway of the Senate to explain how he felt about Senator Paul’s effort, which some pundits have called a case of copycatting.

“I was shocked, quite frankly,” explained Mr. Cruz. “That’s totally my thing. Everyone knows I’m the shutdown guy. You want a shutdown? You come to Ted Cruz. That’s my schtick here. It just really bothers me that Rand would step on my toes like this. Look, I know I maybe rub a lot of people the wrong way, and I know I can be difficult—hell, people don’t like me, I’ll admit it—but shutting down the Senate is like my little niche here in Washington. And, come on, Rand has his Tea Party buddies, his libertarian crew, his back-to-the-gold-standard clique, why can’t he just let me have this one thing? It’s all I’ve got. I’ll tell you what, though, I’m going to get my mojo back. As soon as Senator Paul allows the government to reopen, I’m going to shut it right back down. Yessiree, I’ll show Rand. I’m the shutdown king around here, fellas, and I’m gonna make sure no one forgets it!”

After that peppy retort, Senator Cruz power-walked away.


(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s