St. Louis, MO—
According to a years-long study conducted by Washington University, Fox News programming and opinion news has a worse effect on society than violent video games and smutty adult films combined.
“Fox is just about the most toxic form of media ever created,” explained the study’s team lead Nick Makerson. “With blatant lies, misinformation and illogical interpretations of the day’s news, our exhaustive research has shown that voters are actually more knowledgable about current events watching nothing but step-mom-themed smut videos than they are watching the back-to-back lineup of Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity’s nightly shows. After analyzing dozens of terabytes of biometric data from thousands of participants, our study has proven without a doubt that Sean Hannity literally makes people dumber and more racist, while Tucker Carlson viewership doubles your risk for strokes and triples your risk for erectile dysfunction.”
The findings surprised the university, so they tested Fox News viewers’ perspective of reality against an entertainment diet of violent video games.
“Once again, Fox News was clearly a more negative influence on viewers than the gruesome video games,” said Makerson. “Fox viewers were 51% more likely to want to shoot up a school, or a Walmart, or any other public place than the test subjects who played four or more hours of violent video games every day. Fox viewers were also 88% more likely to support an American war against a fictional country, and 92% more likely to use a racial slur while conducting study interviews, even while not discussing anything remotely related to race.”