Washington D.C.—
According to White House insiders, President Donald Trump was reportedly confused about the role that the Mayo Clinic served in American healthcare during Vice President Mike Pence’s visit there.
“The President just could not get it through his head that the Mayo Clinic had nothing to do with mayonnaise,” explained an aide to the President, who requested anonymity to discuss the story. “Before Pence left for the trip, Trump asked him to bring back a jar of mayonnaise for him, and, following the trip, Trump could not understand why Pence was talking about coronavirus hospital patients. Trump kept asking how many varieties of mayonnaise products they let Pence try, and if he got to try any new mayonnaise products that weren’t in stores yet.”
Trump’s press secretary denied this account, and claimed that Trump “knows more about the Mayo Clinic than all the doctors.”
“Trump really loves mayonnaise,” said the White House aide. “Sometimes he makes himself a big bowl of just mayonnaise, and eats it like it’s cottage cheese or something. He does this a lot during cabinet meetings. It fills the room with the odor of mayo and makes everyone queazy. The mental image and memories of Trump eating nothing but a big bowl of mayo always makes me feel like I’m going to throw up.”
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