President Donald Trump today promised on Twitter he’d release his tax returns if he wins reelection this November.
The following is his thread of tweets:
“Good news, America, the IRS finally told me they’re almost done with the audit of my tax returns! They said they’d be totally finished on November 4th, which coincidentally is the day after America votes! So when I win reelection, I’ll release 100% of my tax returns!”
“You know how much transparency is a cherished value of mine, so I am definitely not going to make any excuses or delays! It’s been such a heart break for me not to be able to release my tax returns already (because of the audit) and I am so happy to once and for all…”
“…Prove my bank accounts aren’t filled with loans from Russia, China, Turkey and Israel and all the countries that the Fake News reports I have been blackmailed by due to my immense personal debts. The Fake News are the puppets, not President Trump!”
“I’m totally for real this time! You’re going to love it. My tax returns are the most transparent, innocent, clean tax returns you’ll ever see. You won’t believe how squeaky clean they are. You’ll tell yourself, ‘Wow, I can’t believe how squeaky clean Trump is!’ And rich! You’ll see I’m worth billions and billions!”
“So just wait for it, America! The day after the election, when the IRS wraps up their audit, my tax returns will totally be released to the public. Trust me! I would never make a promise about releasing my tax returns at some future date and not honor that promise!”
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