Trump Says He’ll Sue Every American If He Loses Reelection

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump today made presidential history by threatening to sue every American if he doesn’t win Election 2020 this November.

The following is a Twitter thread he published this morning:

“My Presidency has accomplished more than Lincoln and Washington and both Roosevelts combined in just 4 years. It’s truly been amazing what President Trump has done! No President has ever deserved reelection more than me!”

“The Fake News is saying my polls are dropping, and that Michigan and Arizona will be blue in 2016, and that even Texas will be competitive, but the Fake News lies about everything! Any poll that doesn’t show me winning by a landslide is totally fake! KAG!”

“Why trust the media? Remember when they were saying coronavirus cases would soon be zero, and that it would go away with spring weather, and that injecting yourself with Lysol would cure it? The media said all that, and remember how crazy it was? Unlike me, who said all along COVID was some serious stuff!”

“So the polls are totally wrong, and America wants 4 more years of President Trump! I’m going to win the biggest landslide in history, although the Democrats are going to try to rig the election again. They have a caravan of millions of illegals right now heading toward Wisconsin because they’re so upset I won it when they said it was impossible!”

“If I lose, I’m going to sue the Democrats for their rigging. I’m the most popular President, maybe of all time. Why would voters not want 4 more years? I’ll also sue every voter who doesn’t vote for me. For not wanting America to be great! For a billion dollars each!”

“You hear that, Democrats and NeverTrumper independents? I’ll sue you to the ground if I lose! You won’t believe how hard I will sue you! By December there will be 65 million lawsuits! 320 million lawsuits if I have to! I will sue every man and woman, and even all the children! Keep America Great!”

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s