St. Louis, MO—
President Donald Trump attended a pro-life rally yesterday in St. Louis, but made an unforgettable gaffe when, while holding up a baby to kiss its forehead, he dropped it.
Making matters worse, the President tried to break the infant’s fall by sticking out his leg, but succeeded only in kicking the baby in the face and knocking it off the stage down a four-foot drop in front of approximately 700 pro-life rally attendees, at which point the infant promptly burst into tears and loud cries.
President Donald Trump then leaned into the microphone and changed the subject to Hillary Clinton.
“You know, a lot of people don’t know this, but Hillary Clinton eats babies. I maybe just dropped that one, but if Hillary were president and up on this stage, she would have bitten its head off. She hates kids. All Democrats hate babies. Nancy Pelosi likes to go to hospitals and wait outside to try to grab some while new parents are leaving. I’d never do that! I’m the pro-life candidate. I’m so pro-life you wouldn’t believe it. Can you imagine if I had aborted Ivanka? What a tremendous beauty. Now, Eric on the other hand. I’m kidding. I love all my kids. So, yeah, no collusion. No tax evasion, no campaign finance, no obstruction. No abuse of power. No emoluments. No sexual assaults. No fraud. No extortion. Just pro-life. No one does pro-life like I do. I’m the most pro-life president since Lincoln. Well, I gotta go, a pornstar is claiming I got her pregnant so I gotta get Rudy Giuliani to pay her off to get an abortion. So thanks for your support, and remember, I’m the pro-life candidate in 2020. Thanks everyone!”
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