“Pedophile Protectors” Is The Legacy Of This Republican Congress

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Trump is reportedly furious that “pedophile protector” is going viral worldwide.
ICE is reportedly doing so little background checking there’s a worry that Muslim terrorists are getting hired as ICE agents.
The National Chamber of Commerce is warning that if every worker who has called Donald Trump a “pedophile protector” was suspended the entire economy would collapse.
The parliament of Greenland just introduced legislation that bans Trump and all his descendants for 100 generations.
Doctors suspect Trump has only weeks left to live based on his obvious symptoms and, even more obvious, his rushed regime change efforts all over the world.
Protesters are reportedly tricking ICE agents into removing their masks by shouting, “COVID is back and Democrats are telling everyone to wear masks again!” and “Are you wearing that face diaper because you’re afraid of the Kung Flu?” and “Did Joe Biden tell you to wear that mask?”
A 6th grader named Cassie on a White House tour reportedly told Trump after he showed her class the Nobel Peace Prize he took from María Corina Machado, “You’re a worse loser than my brother, and he’s 4-years-old!”
Trump reportedly just stole the “Cop of the Year” trophy from the Florida Police Union’s award ceremony and fundraiser being held at Mar-a-Lago this weekend.
QAnon believers are beginning to suspect Kristi Noem’s constantly changing face is giving it away that she’s a shape-shifting reptilian alien from the planet that abducted Rudy Giuliani for several months and conducted sexual experiments on him.
Trump is reportedly worried that if he invokes the Insurrection Act in Minnesota the military will begin arresting his ICE agents for violating a dozen civic rights.
ISIS and al-Qaeda are reportedly donating to ICE agents’ GoFundMe fundraisers with the message “We’re huge fans of your work — Death to America!”
Trump has reportedly begun telling friends, “I know I’m doing such a good job of concealing it, but my health is really starting to go.”
A spokeswoman for the Trump Administration said today, “Oops, is that ANOTHER slogan of ours that turned out to be a Nazi slogan?”
Trump says that, if monetary experts want him to end his tariffs, a Nobel laureate will have to give him their Nobel Economics Prize.
Protesters are showing up to Congressional Republicans’ offices and chanting “pedophile protector” at them.
Trump reportedly now has a second Marine following everywhere he goes — alongside the Marine who carries the nuclear football — carrying a diaper bag.
Several Greenlanders have reportedly used their snowmobiles to write the words “pedophile protector” in the snow outside the capital city of Nuuk big enough for Trump Administration officials to see from the plane as they fly in.
Trump reportedly spent all morning fuming after a staffer showed him how many people are calling him “Fatler” and referring to the Nobel Peace Prize he stole as a “DEI participation trophy.”
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