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- Several major cities are reportedly planning where to set up “Trumpvilles” for all the homeless people after Trump’s Iran War wrecks the entire global economy and skyrockets the price of everything.
- DOJ officials are reportedly struggling to figure out how Jared Kushner having no actual government job, but making secret plans and deals with Israel our national security officials don’t know about that have quite shockingly dragged us into an unpopular war of choice, isn’t “textbook treason.”
- Trump is furious because all his fellow “Board of Peace” nation leaders have ghosted him after he asked for help in the Strait of Hormuz.
- First year law school students nationwide are bringing their textbooks to their professors and asking to be shown a page that would suggest what Jared Kushner has been doing in the Middle East — repeatedly making secret deals in Israel without apparently involving the State Department, National Security Council, and military — is legal.
- The 2026 “Leopards Eating Faces Award” was just given to Saudi Arabia and the UAE for bribing Donald Trump and Jared Kushner with billions of dollars only for them to still do whatever Israel wants, and in this case starting a war in Iran that could wreck all the Middle East’s energy export infrastructure.
- Several prediction markets are now reportedly taking bets on whether Donald Trump will flee to Moscow, Tel Aviv, or Buenos Aires when his presidency collapses.
- A new poll found that 100% of Democrats want a new litmus test for the 2028 Democratic presidential primary where everyone only votes for Democrats who pledge “no more fucking around with justice” and “no more Merrick Garlands” who are so uselessly by-the-book that all the fascist criminals get effective immunity because the indictments take 2+ years to set up, and the trials never happen because all the criminals lie, obstruct, endlessly appeal every legal move, and coordinate with other criminals’ co-conspiring lawyers until fascists get back into power.
- A top GOP official admitted that Republicans “should probably be doing more” to stop Trump from wrecking every alliance the US has built over 80 years and accelerating China’s economic dominance and superpower ascendancy to inexplicably do whatever the two most unpopular people on the planet, Vladimir Putin and Benjamin Netanyahu, want.
- Trump reportedly told Jared Kushner, “I’m gonna need you to take one for the team and tell the media you went behind my back to start this Iran War with Netanyahu, and the spiking oil prices, reciprocalore bombings, and soldier deaths are all your fault.”
- Republicans in Congress are stressing out over their legal obligation to investigate Jared Kushner for treason after he sabotaged the Iran deal actual government officials were negotiating in a secret scheme with Israel to attack Iran anyway to force Trump to join in.
- Trump is reportedly worried the Iran crisis, his blatant Israeli/Russian extortion, the Epstein investigations, the tanking economy, and his administration’s nonstop fraud will necessitate him fleeing the US before the end of the year, but his UAE plane isn’t ready yet.
- Fox News has reportedly started offering therapy services to all their show hosts and contributors struggling with the ethics of just ignoring the fact that they spent a full decade attacking Barack Obama for giving Iran “pallets of cash” that was legally already theirs in exchange for Iran stopping their nuclear program, but they’re now not reporting at all on how Trump is giving Iran 10x that much cash for no concessions at all because he needs to steal and sell oil because he wrecked a quarter of the world’s energy exports.
- Bill Barr honored Bob Mueller the former Special Counsel as “the best man I ever obstructed justice with.”
- ICE officials are reportedly uncomfortable with Trump’s impulsive plan to deploy their agents to airports to replace the TSA workers because the agency is unpopular enough, and they don’t want all their agents booed all day long by tens of thousands of daily travelers.
- A liberal billionaire announced he will pay any amount of money for the land of whichever cemetery Donald Trump is buried in, and he’ll become the first quadrillionaire by charging people 25 cents to pee on the grave, or 50 cents to take a dump on it.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy. Request your local library order a copy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
Our social media platforms are getting scrambled by oligarchs so if you like my writing, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Threads, Twitter, Bluesky, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
The Halfway Post 